Chasing the Walrus

They’re here. The Democratic National Convention (DNC) starts today and I so fucking excited I could just… yawn. Yep, take a fucking nap time. The only way this could get exciting is if the fucking Clinton supporters cause trouble and you have to fucking doubt that would happen. So, although some of the pussy-ass politicians maybe a little nervous, these next few days will turn out to be an Obama lovefest and a bash McCain with everything you can fest.

And once again, the democrats will have proven that they are not fucking smart enough to select anyone who is even electable. Seriously my American friends take a close look at it. I’m for neither Obama nor McCain and think I’ll seriously sit this election out but what the fuck in Obama’s background makes you think he is capable of leading this country. State senator, not even a full term as a US senator. Fuck he’s never even run his own small business what the fuck makes anyone think he’s capable of running the economy of the US.

But, never fear, the democrats will tell you how wonderful he is. His wife what a loving husband and father and how the two of them elevated themselves. All great shit but…

The news will be pretty boring this week, unless you like watch a bunch of two-faced mother fuckers kissing the ass of some asshole they despise. Biden wasted no time getting his nose stuck up that black crack, watch the rest of the democrats follow suit. Oh and count how many time they use Bush and McCain’s names in the same sentence. I’m figuring a minimum of 50 times per speaker.

Now to the Babe of the Post!!! A hot fucking wife who likes to party… MY FAVORITE

Tags: Political Commentary by Walrus
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No, I haven’t abandoned posting again or slipped even further into being depressed. As far as that goes, I’m probably as good as I have been for a little while. But what has happened between Tuesdays disaster and my posting now would probably push a mere mortal man in that direction.

Thursday I was planning to be a good boy. Got to the train station in time to catch the train and the plan was to come hope and post here and work on a couple of my sites. I can’t remember what it was I had to post about but it seems it was somewhere along the lines of a good old fashioned Walrus rant.

But fucking fate had other plans for me. Seems the metrolink trains were all having problems and all the trains were delayed. My commute schedule really doesn’t handle delays well and not needing much of an excuse to go to the bar anyway the fact that the commute wasn’t going to go as planned was excuse enough.

My bartender buddy, from now on known as the bartender, called in sick so his replacement was the Jack Daniels dude. Now the JD dude likes to do shots of Jack and since he’s buying, how can I say no? Also the bartenders girlfriend, not knowing the bartender had called in sick, stopped by. She’s good people and always a hoot to talk to so I sat drinking Stella’s, Jack on the rocks and a free shot every ten minutes with JD dude. Needless to say, I got fucking plastered.

At some point in the night, the bartenders girlfriend went home and I found myself trying to chat up a fat ugly Indian chick. When I say Indian chick, I mean from India not native american. This chick was coyote ugly. Luckily, whether it was cause I was white, fat, drunk or a combination of all fucking three she had no interest in fucking me. It’s kind of a sad statement, she’d rather sit around the train station all night than let me get my rocks off on her. Worked to my favor, I didn’t have to sit there in the morning, shame all over my face and wonder what the fuck I had done.

The bad news was that instead of going home, I went over to someone who lives close to the train station to spend the night. Sucks having to wear the same cloths two days in a row. Especially without a shower but who the fuck would shower and then put on two day old cloths.

So I went through Friday, hungover, smelly, sweaty, sticky and did I mention hungover. When work was fucking finally over I had no problem coming straight home.

The crazy chick, who I really can’t explain what kind of relationship we have is, was at my place and had been there since Thursday. She knew about my drunken exploits, well sort of, I don’t think I told her about the ugly indian chick. Like I said, can’t really explain our relationship. But she was planning on escaping Friday evening anyway. When I got here, her ride was here and they were fucking around on my laptop.

Unfortunately, the crazy chick has a thing about downloading music from P2P sites which means it’s usually infected with all sorts of nasty spyware shit. Having the computer for 36 hours gave her hope that I wouldn’t notice all the fucking trojans and put 2+2 together. So, the remainder of Friday night was spent trying to clean off all of the fucking crap. Oh, and my service provide, they get upset about this kind of shit so they disabled my service as some point in time.

So, that’s been my life for the last couple days, too much JD, an ugly indian chick and the crazy chick. I’m fucking sure I left something out but it’s too late at night for me to really wonder if this is even fucking worth reading. Time to move to the Babe of the Post!

Tags: Sex and The Walrus by Walrus
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Ok, last night turned into a total fucking disaster. I got to the bar / restaurant we were supposed to meet at just a little early. Not bad actually about 5 minutes but when I walked in and she wasn’t there, I had a sinking suspision that this wasn’t going to happen. I ordered a Jack / Rocks and a water back, checked out the appetizer menu, sipped my drink…. and waited. After finishing my drink, I figured I was on my own tonight.

Not a problem, I had made a contingency plan. A friend of mine had said he met a chick who wanted to get into doing some porn shit and wanted to meet me. I used to run a solo girl personality website which was making bank until the personality of the site found out I was fucking one of the chicks at the club she worked at. But ever since I’ve been looking for that one girl I could do that with again and fuck, if she wasn’t the type I could do that with I could always take some pictures and sell them.

So, back to the bar / restaurant, where I figured I was stood up by the MILF and decided to have another drink and a little something. I was proud of myself, I ordered grilled asparagrass, something healthy. Finished that up and had a couple hours to kill before I met girl 2, the porn star.

I went to meet a really good buddy who happens to bartend at my transfer point. Oh, I didn’t mention I am one of the only lucky souls in LA who can commute to work without it being cumbersome. So I went, shot the shit and had a couple more Jack / Rocks and waited for my train ride home. I was supposed to meet the porn star at a little restaurant close to my house so the fact that I was going to be 10 - 15 minutes late didn’t bother me.

Now, I know your thinking what was I going to do if MILF has showed up? Well, I wouldn’t have passed up the chance to cover her rings with my man milk and I would have been more than happy to let her milk my man utter completely dry. Which means I would have stood up the porn star.

One thing you’ve got to understand is these porn chicks are flakes and they get away with it because most men think they are cute and shit. Amazing what a guy will put up with for the opportunity to bang one of these bitchs. What most guys don’t realize is that you are doing the worst thing in the world, unless you want to have your wallet drained for the vague opportunity to get laid. Hence, me having stood her up would have been a good thing, not bad.

But, porn star, being the flake that she is stood my buddy up, which in turn means she stood me up. I got a call about 5 minutes before the meet was supposed to happen from my buddy saying the porn star flake could not be reached for comment. He was all fucking upset about but I personally didn’t give a rats ass, like I said all these kind of chicks are flakes.

Then I did a really stupid thing, I stopped at the Great Steak and got me a pastrami hogie and some french fries. I said I needed to stop doing that and I had been being really good about it lately but I fell of the wagon. I need to look up and find out if there is an over-eaters anonymous. Not a fucking diet plan but a support group for those of us who are binge eaters. Cause if it wasn’t for the binges, my weight would be fine. I could have used a sponsor to call and save me from myself.

I take my food home and devour it, play on the computer about 10 seconds and decide I should just pass out. Big fucking mistake because around 3 am my midnight snack came back to haunt me. I forget what the fuck it’s called but I’ve got this minor problem where acid from my stomach can actually run back up my throat, burning like shit by the way. Same shit Ashley Simpson was supposed to have that caused her to lip sync on Saturday Night Live.

This shit is nasty, it burns your throat making you cough, a lot, which in turns makes it very difficult to breath. I spent about the next 15 minutes trying to simply breathe. Got that under control and noticed that I was having a massive gas attack. I was bloated and ready to explode. I also recognized that it was time to hit the head. So I sat down and literally the shit came squirting out, over and over, and over. I was up the rest of the night burping, farting and turning my asshole into a super squirter.

I felt like shit and I still do. I made it to the day job about an hour late and now I’m sitting here writing this post and waiting for the call of the toilet. I did try a little lunch, an egg salad sandwhich. I think I might regret it but the juries still out.

But fuck this, you all want the babe of the post don’t you and I have just that. How about a babe from Playboy’s All Naturals collection…like you have a choice!

Tags: Porn Shit by Walrus
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So its been a fucking while since I posted anything. I’d like to say it’s because I’ve been way to busy doing shit, building more websites, making a bunch more coin. That fucking what I wish I could say. Truth is I’ve been, and still am, a bit depressed with life and as such it’s a fucking measerable experience trying to be the upbeat, all in control Walrus. The thing is, I’m not so fucking sure I understand what the fuck has got me in this funk and if I don’t understand what is causing the funk how can I get out of it.

I’ve kind of exiled myself. Cut myself off from most of the people I know and about the only fucking time I feel like myself I’ve got to be drunk and now I’m tired of being drunk. It’s easy to stop, I’m no where near an alcoholic but I’ve also become more than a social drinker. Or maybe it’s best explained as the only time I seem to be interested in being social is when I’m drinking.

I don’t know, I never planned on this being a spill my guts to the world kind of blog but if it is to be a reflection of it’s name sake then I’ve got to post the bad with the good….I think. How can I ever expect you fuckers to take my rants seriously if I don’t give all of myself, good and bad.

I’m not sure what I have to be depressed about. I’m highly respected in two fields, the one I pay my bills with and the one I’ve chosen on-line. It just seems that I’m walking through life…actually just watching life go by…instead of spending my days living it and its been going on so long that I don’t remember when it started but I have to find a way to make it end.

Enough pissing and moaning, I’ll check in tomorrow and post any revelations. In the meantime, enjoy this sexy bitch.

Yenni is a pool shark
Yennie Hoang
University of Maryland
SPECS:
AGE: 23
HAIR COLOR: Brown
HEIGHT: 5ft 5in
WEIGHT: 117 lb
BREASTS: 34B
MEASUREMENTS: 34B-26-34
Playboy’s Student Bodies

Yennie is a pool shark that likes surfing the internet. Yennie says she is a big nerd that loves eating chocolate, cheese and candy. To learn more about Yennie check out her interview in the members area. Learn more about Yennie at Playboy’s Student Bodies

Tags: Ramblings by Walrus
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Normally I’m not a fucking rumor mongor nor do I believe in airing ones dirty fucking laundry in public, especially when it comes to a fucking business where most people figure every fucking person in it is dirty anyway. But since that fucking bitch, Raven, herself decided to go public with this "you tube" video, I figured it would be cool to just fill everyone in on the shit.

Now if your want to hear the other side of the fucking story, you’ll have to forgo the fucking video as I quote from the fucking Xbiz article.

Leach asserts that Riley came to him in late March and stated that she didn’t want to be Raven Riley anymore. “She was tired of the business and wanted to change her phone number so no one from the industry could contact her,” Leach said. Riley’s number was changed April 9, at her request, and was used until it was turned off June 9, according to Leach.

Now as any of us smart fucking people know this is just like a fucking divorce, you can’t fucking believe everything that he says or everything that she says. Somewhere in the middle of all the fucking crap, all the fucking lies is the mother fucking truth but you can bet for sure that this is going to fucking be more like a celebrety break-up as opposed to your fucking meaningless little divorce and at some point the name calling and dirty fucking secrets are bound to come out.

Since I know you all are fucking wondering who the fuck I’m talking about, I figured I’d post a little sexier side of Raven just to refresh you all to fragile of fucking memories. Also, I’ve been personally assured that the site owns enough content to stay fresh for at least another year or so. If you really gotta have more of this fucking slut, go for it. You won’t get burned!

And no, posting this little dab of porn does not constitute the nude of the post so enjoy that too!!!

Meka Mulan- Nude for the Post

Chicago, IL

AGE: 26 HAIR COLOR: Blonde HEIGHT: 5ft 6in WEIGHT: 105 BREAST: 34C MEASUREMENTS: 34C-24-34

Playboys Sexy Wives Meka is woman of many loves. She prefers grilled cheese and ham sandwiches, sushi, happy hour, Chicago house music,  and photography. Her hobbies include boating, yoga, hiking, traveling abroad and dancing. To learn more about Meka check out the interview in the members area. At least check out her hot fucking photo gallery

Tags: Porn Shit by Walrus
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How many fucking married dudes are sitting out there getting ready to fucking read the wisdom that is The Walrus? I’ll fucking warn you right fucking now you may want to skip what the fuck I’m about to say and get right to the nude of the post. Otherwise you may have to face a fucking ugly truth that you may not be prepared to face.

Do you have a "guys night out" and your fucking wife have a "girls night out"? You probably figure her night out is just as fucking innocent as yours. I mean, I know what your doing. You and the buds probably head out to some fucking place where you can watch the fucking game, shoot some pool and get drunk. Then, after drinking plenty some of the buds split and the rest of you head for the local strip club where you give plenty of cute bitchs some cash to rub their shit all over you.

While your out doing that, wonder what your fucking wife is upto? Her and her little bitch friends, well their night starts out pretty much like the fucking bitchs in sex and the city. You know a little place with some apetizers and plenty of alcohol. Sitting oogling the guys as they walk by and talking about how bored their fucking little lives have become or even worse, how fucking boring their sex lives have become and when they get ready to move on, they move to somewhere to relieve their boredom

Here is where assholes like me come in. I personally like to catch the group just before they are getting ready to leave and pick the weak one out of the herd. There is always at least one that is just a little drunker than the rest or perhaps a little lonlier than the rest and is just waiting for someone to start paying a little attention to her and I do. Usually it starts with a little look (just catching her eye), a wink, a accidental meeting (ya right) on the way to or from the bathroom. Maybe the meeting happens when she comes to the bar to get another drink but I can fucking garauntee that the meeting will occur and after a few fucking minutes of flattering conversation and a couple comments to make her laugh, the seperation process has begun.

Now I’ll be honest, I love fucking married women. I don’t want anything long term or any fucking bitch who is going to be panting after me constantly. I’m looking for bored bitchs just wanting to fucking add a little something to their mundane life and if they want to become a regular fuck buddy, all the fucking better and while the bitch is going to want to share all the fucking moments with her friends, she’s also going to want to keep whats happening as big a secret as possible.

Anyway, once you create a little seperation, you work on one of two strategies. Stragegy one, get her to stay behind. Strategy two, have her tell you where her and the friends are headed. Either way things end pretty much the same way. A couple stiff drinks (perhaps I’ll share my secret drink that fucks a woman up but she loves) and it’s time to take her for a little walk. Within 5 minutes I’ll have my hand down her pants and within no time your fucking wife will be on her knee’s swallowing as much of my cock as she can and then bent over and fucked like she hasn’t been in a very long time and when I’m ready to finish I’ll be coating that sacred wedding ring she wears with my cum.

She’ll come home, drunk on her ass, well fucked and ready to go to sleep. For you, she won’t be in the mood and the next time you do get the chance for a little, she’ll be remembering our time in the fucking parking lot and not even thinking about you. Don’t worry, no need for you to get her off, after your done and asleep, she’ll be in the bathroom, thinking about how good it felt having a real man’s cock ramming her hole and rubbing her clit for all it’s worth.

Odds are, I’ve fucked your wife and she still thinks about that time more often than any moment you’ve spent with her.

Christine Stevens- Nude for the Post

Christine is a walk-a-holic
Christine Stevens
Waconia, MN
SPECS:
AGE: 30
HAIR COLOR: Brown
HEIGHT:5ft 6in
WEIGHT:113 lb
BREASTS: 34DD
MEASUREMENTS: 34DD-24-34
Playboy’s Sexy Wives

Christine is a walk-a-holic. She comes from Minnesota and loves the lakes there. She is also into ice fishing and playing in the sun. Her ambition is to become a world famous landlord. To learn more about this northern gal take a gander at her interview video. Learn more about Christine at Playboy’s Sexy Wives

Tags: Sex and The Walrus by Walrus
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