Entries Tagged as 'Nude'

Upbeat with Shyra Sheer

Feeling a bit better this evening. Probably because of two things. One, I’m sober. Even though I was extremely tempted I bypassed the bar tonight and came home from the day job to spend time with the old website development. The second, I’ve got a evening out with a hot but mature woman setup for tomorrow so odds are I’ll be doing one of my favorite things, squirting man milk all over her wedding rings.

Don’t typically do the mature chicks, although if she had kids I’d probably class her as a MILF rather than mature but either way her age puts her a little outside of my normal demographics. My preference is late twenties to mid thirties and she’s probably somewhere in the mid forty range. But she is hot or at least cute or maybe just willing. Sometimes its hard to tell, especially when I’ve been depressed like I’ve been. Usually getting laid is kind of like second nature but with this fucking depression it’s been really hard to get myself into that charming Libra personality.

Besides I’ve probably gained about 50 lbs while I’ve been in this funk. This spilling your guts shit on the world wide web when you know no one is listening, cause no one visits this place much yet, does seem to be having a very positive affect. I posted on my other blog this moring (its pure adult) and I am enjoying doing this tonight. Now if I can loose the beer and bread fat, get the waist back down and get a little excercise I may just kick this shit.

But enough, I doubt I’ll post tomorrow evening, I should be much too busy getting busy but I should bore you with all the nasty little details on Wednesday. Until then, I should post a picture of one of the hot fucking Hustler bitchs for you to enjoy as you and Rosie palm get busy.

Shyra Sheer
Shyra Sheer | Open My Box

Real estate appraiser and porn star isn’t a combination you see very often, but we’ve found a 21-year-old hottie pursuing those two divergent careers. “I treat both occupations professionally,” Shyra says. “I want to give all I have and do the best work possible. The real estate gig is a family business owned and run by my mom and dad that always provides a steady paycheck.” How did such a seemingly straitlaced gal get into the adult biz? “Ever since I was 15,” Shyra explains, “I’ve been doing lingerie and swimsuit modeling, and when I turned 18, I started doing topless. At 19 I had a chance to go nude, and I thought, Why not? The offer to do a porn flick followed soon after. I figured I might as well try it. I’m one of those people who believe you have to try everything at least once in order to have an opinion about it.” Does Shyra’s family know that she moonlights as a XXX actress? “They do,” the curvy Coloradoan confides. “Everyone’s pretty cool about it, although my parents don’t like to talk about it.” But their lovely daughter is eager to talk about her sex life. “I like girls,” she coos, “but I love guys! When I date, I need a guy who is totally open, and there is nothing sexier than bringing in other people. When I’m alone with a guy, I love being done doggy. Like most girls I know, it’s my favorite position too!” Not surprisingly, the breathtaking blonde is also rambunctious. “I think the craziest thing I’ve ever done was having sex in a dressing room of a retail store while I was working,” Shyra recalls. “It was okay, though, because I was on a break at the time.” Besides getting down and dirty in front of the camera or with a lover, this dreamgirl has another outlet for shaking her pretty ass. “I am a professional dancer,” Shyra proclaims, “not a stripper! I direct the cheer squad for the Denver Titans [her hometown’s semipro football team], and I used to be the dance captain of the Colorado Crest too. I really love dancing.” When not selling houses, doing a bang-up job in hard-core flicks or waving pom-poms, Shyra opts for low-key escapes. “I love spending time with my family and friends,” she says, “just chilling. Barbecues, picnics and house parties are the best.” How does Shyra feel about gracing the front cover and centerfold of our latest Holiday Issue? “I think it’s just perfect!” she exclaims. “I love the holidays. They are easily my favorite time of the year. You get nice gifts, and being a HUSTLER covergirl is the second-greatest gift I’ve ever received.” Second best?! “Okay,” Shyra relents. “Being on the cover of HUSTLER is the number one best gift!” What does our holiday treat want for Christmas this year? “I would like to see my sister,” Shyra says. “She is my heart and my soul. I would love to be closer to her. So the best gift would be for me to be able to move my sister and her son nearer to me.”

Statistics:
Hair: Blonde, Eyes: Blue, Bust: 34D, Waist:24, Hips: 36, Height: 5′5”, Weight: 120

Biography:
Birthplace: Denver, Colorado
Age: 22
Favorite Movie: Anything with Muppets! For some reason I love those silly things.
Favorite Song: I’ve been listneing to My Chemical Romance’s "Black Parade" constantly since I got it.
Favorite Food: I absolutely loooooove desserts. I’d rather just skip out on dinner altogether. My favorite’s applie pie a la mode.
Likes: I’m such a girl! I like the typical things: shopping, going tanning, gossiping about sex and boys!
Dislikes: I really hate arrogant jerks! My most recent ex-boyfriend is one.
Ambitions: I want to do so much in porn, but I really admire Jenna Jameson. I plan on having an empire like her’s one day.
Best Place to Fuck: Next to a fireplace. There’s something about the crackling wood and added heat that just makes me want to fuck all night.
Best Sex: Anytime I’m pissed off. ESPECIALLY right after a fight with a boyfriend. It’s almost aggressive and animalistic.
Favorite Position: It depends on my mood, but lately I’ve been a big fan of cowgirl. I like being in control these days.
Questions & Answers:

HUSTLER: Since you’re our Holiday centerfold, any special insights into the Holiday season?

SHYRA: If you’re in a relationship, make sure you get your girlfriend something! Even if she says she doesn’t want anything, don’t believe her. Trust me. And make sure to call your mom.

HUSTLER: Have you been naughty this year?

SHYRA: I don’t know if I’ve been naughty or nice. I’m going to have to let Santa decide for himself on Christmas eve. And if he says I’m naughty, I’m just going to have to show him why.

Atlanta says no to “Men at Work”

Cynthia Good Pink Magazine This fucking bitch is Cytnthia Good, a fucking feminist and founding editor of Pink Magazine in Atlanta. Seems she got her fucking panties all in a wad over the fact that the "Men at Work" signs were present even when women were actually there working with their fucking male counterparts. She fucking wants "gender neutral" signs.

Seriously, with all the fucking other problems in the country, not to mention the fucking world, couldn’t she find something, anything more pressing than fucking "gender neutral" signs for street workers in the Atlanta area to get her precious tight panties all fucked up over. You know something like the homeless child in Atlanta who goes to sleep in the fucking back seat of a car with nothing to eat.

Atlanta, well it seems it agrees about being fucking gender neutral and if fucking going to paint all of the signs to meet this new standard. It should only cost the fucking city $1000 to do. Maybe the fucking homeless kid can eat the next sign he / she (trying to be gender neutral here) fucking sees.

But Atlanta isn’t enough, Ms. Good now plans on a total fucking national attack campaign and sadly I suspect way too many fuckinng states will fall in line with Atlanta. Ms. Good, one question, at your feminist fucking magazine, how may men you have writing articles for you and I don’t mean fucking gay guys either, they’re nothing but bitchs anyway.

In the interest of gender neutrality, I’ve got a few things that I think should be fucking changed immediately.
menapause - you know that time in a woman’s life when …. well fuck when she’s getting too fucking old.
menstral cramp - again, what the fuck does this have to do with a fucking men
menstration - do I really fucking need to type any fucking thing here
Seriously, what does "men" have to fucking do with these fucking times in a womans life when men most likely want to be as far away as fucking possible and no I don’t use a fucking dictionary so if your too fucking stupid to figure out what the fuck I’m talking about, thats your own fucking problem.

In all honesty, politcal correctness really doesn’t have any fucking place in society. Anyone who would be offended by most of the inane crap that the PC patrol care to fucking whip out just don’t have enough in their sad little fucking lives. So go ahead, call me a fucking red neck, asshole, or just about anything else you can think of. It ain’t going to hurt my fucking feelings.

But my most burning question is this, why wasn’t Ms. Good cited for vandalism on the signs she spray painted a pink "wo" in front of men at work!

Today’s Babe Sunny Leone

\Sunny LeoneClick the pic to be transformed into a Hustler dude!

Sunny Leone | Reflections Of Love
Sunny Leone, whose parents had emigrated from India, grew up in Canada and relocated to Southern California in 1996 with her family. Soon after graduating from high school, the ingenue began modeling, slowly transitioning from mainstream work to nude layouts. Finally opting to have sex in front of the camera, she signed with Vivid Video in ’05 and stars in Sunny, Virtual Vivid Girl Sunny Leone and other hard-core releases.

Statistics:

Hair: Brown, Eyes: Brown, Bust: 34B, Waist:24, Hips: 34, Height: 5′ 4, Weight: 110
Biography:

Birthplace: Ontario, Canada
Age: 25
Favorite Movie: The Princess Bride. I can quote that movie endlessly.
Favorite Song: Right now it’s Rhianna’s “SOS”. I like mostly dance and hip hop…anything I can shake it to.
Favorite Food: I’m hesitant to say, but I really like In-N-Out. It’s not very good for you, but I love a “Double Double”.
Likes: I like girlie girl stuff. Shopping, cooking, just hanging out. I like being around my friends and family.
Dislikes: I’m really impatient, so waiting around. I get so antsy on shoot days that I’m tempted to leave sometimes.
Ambitions: I’ve been studying to be a pediatric nurse for a while now. When I retire from adult, I plan on having a career where I can help children.
Best Place to Fuck: I’m boring…my big old bed. Sorry fellas! No screwing on a motorcycle for me!
Best Sex: It’s always with my boyfriend. We’ve been together for so long that he knows exactly what I want and how I want it. And we like to mix it up by bringing a girl home every now and then.
Favorite Position: Doggie, with one of my boyfriend’s hands slapping my ass and the other pulling my hair. I’m getting wet just thinking about it.
Questions & Answers:

HUSTLER: You’re one of the very few Indian starlets out there…is there any pressure to set an example?

SUNNY: Ha ha…none at all. The only pressure I get is from my parents. They’re pretty traditional. They’re not very happy with what I’m doing, but they are supportive. I keep reminding them that I’ll be a nurse before they know it and that usually calms them down.

HUSTLER: What’s been your favorite experience so far?

SUNNY: Going to Miami and interviewing celebrities for the MTV India Music awards on the red carpet. I spoke to everyone from Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas to the Doggfather himself, Snoop Dogg. What a crazy trip that was!

Raven Riley Quits Porn…or Does She?

Normally I’m not a fucking rumor mongor nor do I believe in airing ones dirty fucking laundry in public, especially when it comes to a fucking business where most people figure every fucking person in it is dirty anyway. But since that fucking bitch, Raven, herself decided to go public with this "you tube" video, I figured it would be cool to just fill everyone in on the shit.

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

Now if your want to hear the other side of the fucking story, you’ll have to forgo the fucking video as I quote from the fucking Xbiz article.

Leach asserts that Riley came to him in late March and stated that she didn’t want to be Raven Riley anymore. “She was tired of the business and wanted to change her phone number so no one from the industry could contact her,” Leach said. Riley’s number was changed April 9, at her request, and was used until it was turned off June 9, according to Leach.

Now as any of us smart fucking people know this is just like a fucking divorce, you can’t fucking believe everything that he says or everything that she says. Somewhere in the middle of all the fucking crap, all the fucking lies is the mother fucking truth but you can bet for sure that this is going to fucking be more like a celebrety break-up as opposed to your fucking meaningless little divorce and at some point the name calling and dirty fucking secrets are bound to come out.

Since I know you all are fucking wondering who the fuck I’m talking about, I figured I’d post a little sexier side of Raven just to refresh you all to fragile of fucking memories. Also, I’ve been personally assured that the site owns enough content to stay fresh for at least another year or so. If you really gotta have more of this fucking slut, go for it. You won’t get burned!


well ive been wanting one for a long time, and so i thought i wouldlet you guys see how good i am:) hehe well im not too good i just got it) but i will get better! but then i had the best idea:) you know the drumsticks, i thoughthmm that would be freaking hott if i stuck one in each hole! haha so yeah it felt alittle differentcause they were soo skinny but felt nice:) so hope that you anal fans will like this… although its a big tease for ya! hehe enjoy

And no, posting this little dab of porn does not constitute the nude of the post so enjoy that too!!!

Meka Mulan- Nude for the Post

Chicago, IL

AGE: 26
HAIR COLOR: Blonde
HEIGHT: 5ft 6in
WEIGHT: 105
BREAST: 34C
MEASUREMENTS: 34C-24-34

Meka Mulan

Playboys Sexy Wives

Meka is woman of many loves. She prefers grilled cheese and ham sandwiches, sushi, happy hour, Chicago house music,  and photography. Her hobbies include boating, yoga, hiking, traveling abroad and dancing. To learn more about Meka check out the interview in the members area. At least check out her hot fucking photo gallery

 

Girls Night Out

How many fucking married dudes are sitting out there getting ready to fucking read the wisdom that is The Walrus? I’ll fucking warn you right fucking now you may want to skip what the fuck I’m about to say and get right to the nude of the post. Otherwise you may have to face a fucking ugly truth that you may not be prepared to face.

Do you have a "guys night out" and your fucking wife have a "girls night out"? You probably figure her night out is just as fucking innocent as yours. I mean, I know what your doing. You and the buds probably head out to some fucking place where you can watch the fucking game, shoot some pool and get drunk. Then, after drinking plenty some of the buds split and the rest of you head for the local strip club where you give plenty of cute bitchs some cash to rub their shit all over you.

While your out doing that, wonder what your fucking wife is upto? Her and her little bitch friends, well their night starts out pretty much like the fucking bitchs in sex and the city. You know a little place with some apetizers and plenty of alcohol. Sitting oogling the guys as they walk by and talking about how bored their fucking little lives have become or even worse, how fucking boring their sex lives have become and when they get ready to move on, they move to somewhere to relieve their boredom

Here is where assholes like me come in. I personally like to catch the group just before they are getting ready to leave and pick the weak one out of the herd. There is always at least one that is just a little drunker than the rest or perhaps a little lonlier than the rest and is just waiting for someone to start paying a little attention to her and I do. Usually it starts with a little look (just catching her eye), a wink, a accidental meeting (ya right) on the way to or from the bathroom. Maybe the meeting happens when she comes to the bar to get another drink but I can fucking garauntee that the meeting will occur and after a few fucking minutes of flattering conversation and a couple comments to make her laugh, the seperation process has begun.

Now I’ll be honest, I love fucking married women. I don’t want anything long term or any fucking bitch who is going to be panting after me constantly. I’m looking for bored bitchs just wanting to fucking add a little something to their mundane life and if they want to become a regular fuck buddy, all the fucking better and while the bitch is going to want to share all the fucking moments with her friends, she’s also going to want to keep whats happening as big a secret as possible.

Anyway, once you create a little seperation, you work on one of two strategies. Stragegy one, get her to stay behind. Strategy two, have her tell you where her and the friends are headed. Either way things end pretty much the same way. A couple stiff drinks (perhaps I’ll share my secret drink that fucks a woman up but she loves) and it’s time to take her for a little walk. Within 5 minutes I’ll have my hand down her pants and within no time your fucking wife will be on her knee’s swallowing as much of my cock as she can and then bent over and fucked like she hasn’t been in a very long time and when I’m ready to finish I’ll be coating that sacred wedding ring she wears with my cum.

She’ll come home, drunk on her ass, well fucked and ready to go to sleep. For you, she won’t be in the mood and the next time you do get the chance for a little, she’ll be remembering our time in the fucking parking lot and not even thinking about you. Don’t worry, no need for you to get her off, after your done and asleep, she’ll be in the bathroom, thinking about how good it felt having a real man’s cock ramming her hole and rubbing her clit for all it’s worth.

Odds are, I’ve fucked your wife and she still thinks about that time more often than any moment you’ve spent with her.

Christine Stevens- Nude for the Post

Christine is a walk-a-holic
Christine Stevens
Waconia, MN
SPECS:
AGE: 30
HAIR COLOR: Brown
HEIGHT:5ft 6in
WEIGHT:113 lb
BREASTS: 34DD
MEASUREMENTS: 34DD-24-34
Playboy’s Sexy Wives
Playboy's Sexy Wives
Christine is a walk-a-holic. She comes from Minnesota and loves the lakes there. She is also into ice fishing and playing in the sun. Her ambition is to become a world famous landlord. To learn more about this northern gal take a gander at her interview video. Learn more about Christine at Playboy’s Sexy Wives

Idiotic Moments in Sports

There has been a bunch of idiotic shit going on in the sports world lately and since I haven’t fucking been getting out enough lately to find shit that really pisses me off, I figured now would be a good time to document some of the stupidity.

Due to the fucking Kobe rap a couple of days ago, Shaq has lost his fucked up plastic Arizona sheriffs badge. Seems old Sheriff Joe was offended by his usage of colorful language. Get a fucking life! First, it’s not like Shaq was performing somewhere that he could have expected the taping. Second, he was rapping, what fucking rap song doesn’t have a little colorful language and finally asking Kobe how his ass tastes. This wasn’t a "tongue in cheek" comment just some good fucking natured teasing. Sheriff Joe just needs to realize he’s a fucking fossil and the usage of the English language is a bit different today from the life he lives in.

My buddy, Don Imus, is at it again but it seems that this time there will be no disciplanary action. In case you live under a fucking rock, here is what was said:

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

Don, old buddy, just admit it you are a fucking racist. I know you now have a new, racially sensative crew but what the fuck does that mean other than your a fucking racist. Otherwise, you or no one would give a rats ass about your crew. The point that everyone spends time explaining that you are now more racially sensative tends to prove my fucking point. As far as Pacman Jones…save your prayers, your going to need them because I have absolutely no doubt that you will find yourself in trouble with the NFL again, even though I really think thats all been way over blown as well.

Speaking of idiots in the NFL how about ex-running back Cedric Benson. He had most of us in his fucking hand with the drunken boating incident. I was personally convinced that he was being picked on. But then, while this is still lingering on, a drunk driving incident….now I ain’t a stupid fuck. Me thinks you fucked up twice.

Zusanna- Nude for the Post

Zusanna

Zusanna | Natural Wonder

Whenever one of our nifty photographers heads abroad to scout out fresh new talent, we here at HUSTLER wait with bated breath. As you can see, our latest find was worth the wait. An all-natural beauty, Zusanna comes to us from the Czech Republic. Now, we know what you’re thinking: Did they say “all natural”? Come on! Yes, the Eurodoll swears that her monstrous mammaries are 100% genuine. “They are all real!” Zusanna exclaims. “No implants. I’m just lucky to have big, juicy boobies.” No, sweetheart, we get to see them in all their glory. That makes us the lucky ones.

Statistics:
Hair: Blonde
Eyes: Blue
Bust: 32” DD
Waist: 24”
Hips: 32”
Height: 5′6"
Weight: 105 lbs

Biography:
Birthplace: Czech Republic
Age: 25
Favorite Movie: “The 40-Year-Old Virgin.” I would love to get my hands on a virgin and fuck him ‘til sunrise!
Favorite Song: “Like a Virgin,” by Madonna. Like I said, I love virgins.
Favorite Food: Fish Tacos and beer. It’s a good snack after sex. I love good food and good sex!
Likes: Posing nude, beaches and interesting people.
Dislikes: Cold weather, traffic and bad sex.
Ambitions: Since being in America, I have enjoyed myself very much. Especially posing for Hustler magazine! At home, I am a very serious businesswoman and showing off my naked body feels so liberating. When the photographer was shooting close ups of my pussy it started to gush because I got so horny thinking about all the men who will be stroking their stiff cocks from looking at my body. I was born with a tight body made to please my men! Best Place to Fuck: On a California beach with a hot, young surfer.
Best Place to Fuck: placesjjj
Best Sex: During my lunch break I was feeling really horny and I couldn’t control myself. Everyone in the office was out to lunch and I was all alone-or so I thought. I shut my door and slid my fingers down my satin panties and started rubbing my moist clit. I was in another world because I didn’t even hear the new temp walk in! He caught me! I was embarrassed at first until he unzipped his trousers and asked if he could join me for lunch. He shoved his tongue up my fuckhole and gave me multiple orgasms until I couldn’t take anymore. He was the best temp I ever hired.
Favorite Position: I like to be on top. I’m wild and I need to be in control.

Questions & Answers:

HUSTLER: What turns you on?
SUZANNA: There are a lot of things that can turn me on. If I were a man, I would have a hard cock 24/7! My pussy is always wet. I wake up every morning thinking of a stiff prick rubbing against my clit. My hand makes its way down my stomach and into my pussy and I finger fuck myself until I come all over my hand. Then I get up, go to work, fantasize about more sex and come home and fuck myself before I fall asleep. I am a very naughty girl…

HUSTLER: Are you into women, too?
SUZANNA: Mmmm…Definitely! Who wouldn’t want to taste a little pussy now and then? Women taste so sweet and salty, like a French dessert. My favorite night of fun is to have a fat cock sliding in and out of my tight slit while a hard-bodied blonde is riding my face with her mound. I am a businesswoman and I am very good at multi-tasking. There is no woman that I couldn’t handle.

Yo, Kobe, tell me how my ass taste

Now this is some funny shit and believe it or not, I’m gonna leave my personal comments aside and simply add in the video.

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video
For some fucking reason I can not get the fucking video to embed so here’s the link until I actually figure this shit out. Nevermind it’s working now, bitch mother fucker

Malou- Nude for the Post

Malou

Malou | Hustler Babe

Statistics:

Hair: Blonde,
Eyes: Blue,
Bust: 34C,
Waist:24,
Hips: 34,
Height: 5′6″,
Weight: 108

Biography:

Birthplace: Copenhagen, Denmark

Age: 24

Favorite Movie: Amelie. I adore that fact it’s a good-natured fairytale about love. And it’s just visually stunning.

Favorite Song: Abba’s “Dancing Queen”. Whenever I hear this tune I can’t help but move my body.

Favorite Food: Bornholmer. It’s actually smoked herring. I know it sounds gross, but it’s very popular where I’m from.

Likes: I’m a big fan of bike-riding and going hiking. I’m usually up for anything outdoorsy.

Dislikes: This might be a little political, but Hustler’s a political magazine, right? I really dislike America’s current political administration and its stance on international issues.

Ambitions: I’m hoping to one day move to the US and become a world-wide celebrity!

Best Place to Fuck: I’m a big fan of screwing on this leather couch I inherited from an old boyfriend. Every time I have sex on it I think about how badly he treated me and I feel like I’m getting revenge.

Best Sex: Any sex that involves more than one other person. I love group sex…especially when the girls are hot!

Favorite Position: For anal I like doggie and for vaginal I like cowgirl.

Questions & Answers:

HUSTLER: What do you think about Americans?

MALOU: I feel bad for you guys right now. I know that your president doesn’t reflect the entire country, but everyone in the European community feels like he’s giving you guys a bad name.

HUSTLER: Enough about politics. Tell is something dirty.

MALOU: The last time I visited my parent’s house, I went with my boyfriend. Every night when my parents fell asleep we would have sex all over the house. It was a little weird doing it in my childhood bedroom, but it was definitely HOT.

George Carlin Dies

It’s a sad day as I awoke to learn that George Carlin is dead. While I know every fucking blog, every fucking news site and every fucking person who can write will lament on the passing of this american idol, I still fucking have to do it. He was just that great. Although greatness isn’t probably the right word, he was the funniest mother fucker to ever fucking stand on a stage and entertain people.

I can still remember those seven words which even today can not be said on TV, Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker and Tits! He had first fucking did this skit in the good ole mid-west, Milwaukee, where he was fucking promptly arrested for disturbing the peace. What the fuck, did people laugh so loud the fucking neighbors complained. Eventually, when it went to court a judge with a little fucking sense through the charges out stating the obvious, how was the fucking peace disturbed.

But I’m guessing that you’ve probably already read most of this stuff, except, perhaps what those magic seven words were. I just needed to say good-bye to an icon. Good-bye George, perhaps now some people will laugh with you but also understand that they are actually laughing at the sadness that our society has become.

McKenzie Lee- Nude for the Post

McKenzie Lee

McKenzie | Hustler Babe

Statistics:
Hair: Brown, Eyes: Brown, Bust: 32D, Waist: 24, Hips: 32, Height: 5′4”, Weight: 105

Biography:
Birthplace: Leicester, England
Age: 27

Favorite Movie: The Lion In Winter". Peter O’Toole’s performance as King Henry the II is one of the most memorable in modern cinema.

Favorite Song: This is hard! There’s so many to choose from. As of late, I’ve been listening to Gnarls Barkley’s "Crazy" almost constantly.

Favorite Food: You Americans may find this disgusting, but baked beans on toast.

Likes: I LOVE fast food! It’s my achilles heel. McDonald’s, Burger King, Taco Bell, you name it. If there’s a drive-thru, chances are I’ve been there at least once.

Dislikes: Exercising. I know I need to work-out because of all the junk food I eat, but it’s so hard to get motivated and drag myself to the gym.

Ambitions: My future goal is to keep pleasing my fans by doing rocking sex scenes, and obviously to make Jenna as proud as I possibly can.

Best Place to Fuck: Have you used one of those Liberator things yet? Oh. My. God. The position you can achieve and the things you can do on that is amazing.

Best Sex: I’d have to say the best sex I’ve ever had is with my now-fiance. We’re just so good together that everytime we fuck it’s amazing.

Favorite Position: I absolutely adore reverse cow-girl. Not only does it allow me to control the action, but my partner gets a great view.

A New Search Sheriff in Town

For those of you fuckers who are more like me and don’t get out much, there is a new search sheriff in town and I really like the promises that he brings. But I also know he is frought with problems and abuses that I’m not sure he can handle.

Wikia Search, the first truly web2.0 search engine is now up and running and with as much as I pay attention to these fucking geek type of things may have been for about 100 fucking years, but I doubt it. Brought to you by those geniuses at the real wikipedia.

The fucking cool thing is that you the user have a direct input on the quality of the searchs. Any user can edit / add to the link description, annotate (which means you can add fucking images or links or add text or highlight passages for the links you find), spotlight, comment or delete links as you see fit. Direct user input should provide for a much more robust and accurate search tool.

Provided it’s not fucking abused! Whether the fucking religious right believe it or fucking not, porn does have it’s fucking place in american society and I can see all the fucking preachers up on the pulpit preaching that we need to wipe out the fucking scourge and every one of the fucking sheep in his congregation will go marching over to the new sheriff’s office and recommend all porn sites for deletions.

Not to mention that business is a rough game and everyone will try to fuck their competition any fucking way possible. Which with as valuable as search engine traffic is, means trying to fuck with their listings.

But I do really like the idea of a user sponsored search as opposed to todays technology of little fucking bots running around collecting information for large complex software algorythms to figure out if your site reachs a quality factor that they will then show your results. Especially when they are matching your results against other sites that my not be anywhere near or as informative as yours. See, they only have things like keywords to go by as fucking bots can’t read.

Shay Laren- Nude for the Post

Shay Laren

Shay Laren | Hustler Babe

Statistics:
Hair: Brown, Eyes: Brown, Bust: 36DD, Waist:25, Hips: 35, Height: 5′6”, Weight: 115

Biography
Birthplace: Giorgia, United States

Age: 21

Shay Laren, the eldest of four children, was an army brat, growing up in a number of military bases across the world. She spent her high school years in Germany.

 

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Zoophilia

After yesterday’s post, I actually got a little fucking curious about animal fucking and animal fuckers in general. I had always figured that it was all fucking fun and games type of shit, I never really figured sheepherder Bob kept himself warm at night in the hooves of his favorite sheep. How fucking naive I was. It does seem that some people get fucking excited by the swish of an animals tail. According to the old reliable, know anything you ever wanted to fucking know, Wiki, this is called zoophilia, the emotional and (optionally) sexual attraction of humans to animals. The human animal fuckers or fuckee’s are fucking known as zoophiles. It also seems that zoophilia has been around as long as man and beast.

Leda and the SwanThis is a picture of a painting titled Leda and the Swan. Seems Leda and her fucking man swan must have been somewhat of the talk of the fucking town as even the most famous artists of the time painted their renditions of Leda and her loving fucking swan. This is a picture of a copy of the lost original painted by Leonardo, you know as in Leonardo Da Vinci. It seems that Michaelangelo also painted this fucking couple as well and fucking ironically his fucking painting was lost too. Not typically being a conspiracy theorist, one has to wonder if this is some form of early censorship. Especially when the study of Leda’s head, painted also by Leonardo, still exists as the horny fucking swan is left out.

But we have some fucking examples of animal love even in today’s society. Seems a few years back a man was dropped off at the hospital and later died. The police in investigating found that he had been visiting a farm of ill repute. Yep, you read that right, a fucking farm where you could pay the farmer to have sex with his animals. Seems the dude who fucking died had wanted to have a fucking horse ass fuck him. The horse was happy to oblige and literally ripped the guy a new asshole. Since, at the time, bestiality was legal in the state no charges were filed. But the police did find smaller, more helpless animals such as chickens, goats and sheep on the property and they are looking into whether animal cruelty — which is a crime — was committed by having sex with these smaller, weaker animals.

It also seems that there are zoophiles who are also into necrophilia. Yep, you read that right, fucking dead animals is a turn on for some sick fucks. It would seem some poor fucker was caught fucking a dead deer on the side of the road and is spending some jail time. Can you fucking imagine what this dumb fucker tells his cell mate when asked why he’s in prison? I saw this really sweet deer with the sexiest fucking tail, just lying there and I had to fuck her. Really, I didn’t know she was fucking dead at the time.

I also want to start a new feature here. Since my liberal use of the F-word and other such obscenities seems to offend a few people, I decided it must be time to offend a few more. With each post, at the end, I’m going to include a Walrus selected Nude for the post. Since this one was so fucking off the hook, I’m not sure that it would be considered an honor to be selected the first nude but I now present:

Valentina Vaughn - Nude for the Post

Valentina Vaughn

Valentina Vaughn | Around the Benz

This olive-skinned goddess isn’t really sure what she wants out of life. “I moved from Philadelphia to pursue a full-time career in modeling,” Valentina says. “Back there I worked as an exotic dancer, which was cool, but being nude in HUSTLER seems so much cooler.” So does that mean our latest centerfold has left her G-string behind? “Not necessarily,” she replies. “I still go to Vegas to dance on some weekends. Looking ahead, the brown-eyed beauty is open to opportunities. “I don’t know what I’ll do in the future,” Valentina murmurs. “Maybe continue nude modeling, maybe go back to dancing. The thing is, I’m really okay with not knowing.”

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Take Responsibility for Yourself

I just deleted a fucking post half way through writing it. It was fucking stupid and I began to wonder what the fuck I have become even thinking this shit was worth blogging about. How does all the stupid ass shit that’s been happening over at myspace lately fucking affect me. Exactly, since I don’t have no fucking space, it doesn’t.

Do I really care that some stupid ass grown fucking woman got her panties in such a big twist that she set her sites on ruining a young childs life and succeeded in damaging the barely teen girl into committing suicide? Does that really affect my life? I think it’s a fucking sad story that a supposed fucking grown ass bitch of 50 would fucking play a childs fucking mind game on a child. But I also find it to be a sad as fucking story that the childs parents didn’t care fucking enough to notice a difference in their child and seek out the possible causes for it. Or to warn their child about how totally fucking deceptive and evil the world is and take adequate steps to educate and protect her. For any parents who read this and for any children who might get lost along the way and actually run across the Walrus’s ravings….the world is a nasty fucking place with plenty of depraved individuals who are completely jealous of what you have and the innocence that you possess and will try to do anything they fucking can to take it away from you. Nothing is real on the internet unless you let it become real.

Do I really fucking care that a 19 year old ass hole seduced a child? Ok, yes I do care but I don’t fucking care that the vehicle he used another social website sprawled across the internet. Mom, Pop it’s your responsibility to have the type of fucking dialog with your teen age child to help them understand that perverted assholes exist in this world and that they use the anonymity of the internet to play their fucking dangerous games. It is a very simple fact, the internet is a hostile environment where too many fucking people like to play games, pretending to be who they aren’t simply because it is the only way they can find to escape their misreable fucking lives and be the person they’ve always only dreamed they could be.

But now don’t go thinking I’m some kind of cold, heartless fuck. I also find it rediculus that a young boy is now facing child porn charges because his girlfriend kicked his stupid ass to the curb and in a fit of emotional uproar made a really bad decision. We all fucking do stupid ass shit now and then, especially when it comes to love. We can act the fool and do some major stupid fucking shit. This dude, in an attempt to seek a little fucking revenge, probably somewhat justified, decided to post a few nude pics of his also underage girlfriend on the internet.

Lets keep in mind, he was in possession of these illegal photos because the girl who broke his fucking little heart sent them to him of her own free accord. In this instance, she should bare some of the burden of blame just as he has. He shouldn’t have been so stupid but then again neither should she. Don’t take a picture and send it to anyone unless your totally prepared for it to be displayed across the internet. Shit happens. But his poor judgment, probably at a time of extreme emotional distress does not constitute charges like possession of child pornography, sexual exploitation of a child and defamation. What he did was stupid not criminal and in this instance the possible punishment definately does not fit the crime. Judges who hear these type of cases should have the ability to do exactly what the gym teacher used to do when I was a child and that’s take the kid into chambers, parents present, and give him a good old fashioned paddling. Of course, all the fucking liberals with their heads up their asses would see that as fucking child abuse. Funny how we all long for the good old days but don’t realize that it’s this kind of shit that makes them the good ole days. But the lack of child disipline in todays society and how it has fucked things up is fodder for a whole new post.