Chasing the Walrus

Feeling a bit better this evening. Probably because of two things. One, I’m sober. Even though I was extremely tempted I bypassed the bar tonight and came home from the day job to spend time with the old website development. The second, I’ve got a evening out with a hot but mature woman setup for tomorrow so odds are I’ll be doing one of my favorite things, squirting man milk all over her wedding rings.

Don’t typically do the mature chicks, although if she had kids I’d probably class her as a MILF rather than mature but either way her age puts her a little outside of my normal demographics. My preference is late twenties to mid thirties and she’s probably somewhere in the mid forty range. But she is hot or at least cute or maybe just willing. Sometimes its hard to tell, especially when I’ve been depressed like I’ve been. Usually getting laid is kind of like second nature but with this fucking depression it’s been really hard to get myself into that charming Libra personality.

Besides I’ve probably gained about 50 lbs while I’ve been in this funk. This spilling your guts shit on the world wide web when you know no one is listening, cause no one visits this place much yet, does seem to be having a very positive affect. I posted on my other blog this moring (its pure adult) and I am enjoying doing this tonight. Now if I can loose the beer and bread fat, get the waist back down and get a little excercise I may just kick this shit.

But enough, I doubt I’ll post tomorrow evening, I should be much too busy getting busy but I should bore you with all the nasty little details on Wednesday. Until then, I should post a picture of one of the hot fucking Hustler bitchs for you to enjoy as you and Rosie palm get busy.

Shyra Sheer | Open My Box

Real estate appraiser and porn star isn’t a combination you see very often, but we’ve found a 21-year-old hottie pursuing those two divergent careers. “I treat both occupations professionally,” Shyra says. “I want to give all I have and do the best work possible. The real estate gig is a family business owned and run by my mom and dad that always provides a steady paycheck.” How did such a seemingly straitlaced gal get into the adult biz? “Ever since I was 15,” Shyra explains, “I’ve been doing lingerie and swimsuit modeling, and when I turned 18, I started doing topless. At 19 I had a chance to go nude, and I thought, Why not? The offer to do a porn flick followed soon after. I figured I might as well try it. I’m one of those people who believe you have to try everything at least once in order to have an opinion about it.” Does Shyra’s family know that she moonlights as a XXX actress? “They do,” the curvy Coloradoan confides. “Everyone’s pretty cool about it, although my parents don’t like to talk about it.” But their lovely daughter is eager to talk about her sex life. “I like girls,” she coos, “but I love guys! When I date, I need a guy who is totally open, and there is nothing sexier than bringing in other people. When I’m alone with a guy, I love being done doggy. Like most girls I know, it’s my favorite position too!” Not surprisingly, the breathtaking blonde is also rambunctious. “I think the craziest thing I’ve ever done was having sex in a dressing room of a retail store while I was working,” Shyra recalls. “It was okay, though, because I was on a break at the time.” Besides getting down and dirty in front of the camera or with a lover, this dreamgirl has another outlet for shaking her pretty ass. “I am a professional dancer,” Shyra proclaims, “not a stripper! I direct the cheer squad for the Denver Titans [her hometown’s semipro football team], and I used to be the dance captain of the Colorado Crest too. I really love dancing.” When not selling houses, doing a bang-up job in hard-core flicks or waving pom-poms, Shyra opts for low-key escapes. “I love spending time with my family and friends,” she says, “just chilling. Barbecues, picnics and house parties are the best.” How does Shyra feel about gracing the front cover and centerfold of our latest Holiday Issue? “I think it’s just perfect!” she exclaims. “I love the holidays. They are easily my favorite time of the year. You get nice gifts, and being a HUSTLER covergirl is the second-greatest gift I’ve ever received.” Second best?! “Okay,” Shyra relents. “Being on the cover of HUSTLER is the number one best gift!” What does our holiday treat want for Christmas this year? “I would like to see my sister,” Shyra says. “She is my heart and my soul. I would love to be closer to her. So the best gift would be for me to be able to move my sister and her son nearer to me.”

Statistics:
Hair: Blonde, Eyes: Blue, Bust: 34D, Waist:24, Hips: 36, Height: 5′5”, Weight: 120

Biography:
Birthplace: Denver, Colorado
Age: 22
Favorite Movie: Anything with Muppets! For some reason I love those silly things.
Favorite Song: I’ve been listneing to My Chemical Romance’s "Black Parade" constantly since I got it.
Favorite Food: I absolutely loooooove desserts. I’d rather just skip out on dinner altogether. My favorite’s applie pie a la mode.
Likes: I’m such a girl! I like the typical things: shopping, going tanning, gossiping about sex and boys!
Dislikes: I really hate arrogant jerks! My most recent ex-boyfriend is one.
Ambitions: I want to do so much in porn, but I really admire Jenna Jameson. I plan on having an empire like her’s one day.
Best Place to Fuck: Next to a fireplace. There’s something about the crackling wood and added heat that just makes me want to fuck all night.
Best Sex: Anytime I’m pissed off. ESPECIALLY right after a fight with a boyfriend. It’s almost aggressive and animalistic.
Favorite Position: It depends on my mood, but lately I’ve been a big fan of cowgirl. I like being in control these days.
Questions & Answers:

HUSTLER: Since you’re our Holiday centerfold, any special insights into the Holiday season?

SHYRA: If you’re in a relationship, make sure you get your girlfriend something! Even if she says she doesn’t want anything, don’t believe her. Trust me. And make sure to call your mom.

HUSTLER: Have you been naughty this year?

SHYRA: I don’t know if I’ve been naughty or nice. I’m going to have to let Santa decide for himself on Christmas eve. And if he says I’m naughty, I’m just going to have to show him why.

Tags: Ramblings by Walrus
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This fucking bitch is Cytnthia Good, a fucking feminist and founding editor of Pink Magazine in Atlanta. Seems she got her fucking panties all in a wad over the fact that the "Men at Work" signs were present even when women were actually there working with their fucking male counterparts. She fucking wants "gender neutral" signs.

Seriously, with all the fucking other problems in the country, not to mention the fucking world, couldn’t she find something, anything more pressing than fucking "gender neutral" signs for street workers in the Atlanta area to get her precious tight panties all fucked up over. You know something like the homeless child in Atlanta who goes to sleep in the fucking back seat of a car with nothing to eat.

Atlanta, well it seems it agrees about being fucking gender neutral and if fucking going to paint all of the signs to meet this new standard. It should only cost the fucking city $1000 to do. Maybe the fucking homeless kid can eat the next sign he / she (trying to be gender neutral here) fucking sees.

But Atlanta isn’t enough, Ms. Good now plans on a total fucking national attack campaign and sadly I suspect way too many fuckinng states will fall in line with Atlanta. Ms. Good, one question, at your feminist fucking magazine, how may men you have writing articles for you and I don’t mean fucking gay guys either, they’re nothing but bitchs anyway.

In the interest of gender neutrality, I’ve got a few things that I think should be fucking changed immediately.
menapause - you know that time in a woman’s life when …. well fuck when she’s getting too fucking old.
menstral cramp - again, what the fuck does this have to do with a fucking men
menstration - do I really fucking need to type any fucking thing here
Seriously, what does "men" have to fucking do with these fucking times in a womans life when men most likely want to be as far away as fucking possible and no I don’t use a fucking dictionary so if your too fucking stupid to figure out what the fuck I’m talking about, thats your own fucking problem.

In all honesty, politcal correctness really doesn’t have any fucking place in society. Anyone who would be offended by most of the inane crap that the PC patrol care to fucking whip out just don’t have enough in their sad little fucking lives. So go ahead, call me a fucking red neck, asshole, or just about anything else you can think of. It ain’t going to hurt my fucking feelings.

But my most burning question is this, why wasn’t Ms. Good cited for vandalism on the signs she spray painted a pink "wo" in front of men at work!

Today’s Babe Sunny Leone

\Click the pic to be transformed into a Hustler dude!

Sunny Leone | Reflections Of Love
Sunny Leone, whose parents had emigrated from India, grew up in Canada and relocated to Southern California in 1996 with her family. Soon after graduating from high school, the ingenue began modeling, slowly transitioning from mainstream work to nude layouts. Finally opting to have sex in front of the camera, she signed with Vivid Video in ’05 and stars in Sunny, Virtual Vivid Girl Sunny Leone and other hard-core releases.

Statistics:

Hair: Brown, Eyes: Brown, Bust: 34B, Waist:24, Hips: 34, Height: 5′ 4, Weight: 110
Biography:

Birthplace: Ontario, Canada
Age: 25
Favorite Movie: The Princess Bride. I can quote that movie endlessly.
Favorite Song: Right now it’s Rhianna’s “SOS”. I like mostly dance and hip hop…anything I can shake it to.
Favorite Food: I’m hesitant to say, but I really like In-N-Out. It’s not very good for you, but I love a “Double Double”.
Likes: I like girlie girl stuff. Shopping, cooking, just hanging out. I like being around my friends and family.
Dislikes: I’m really impatient, so waiting around. I get so antsy on shoot days that I’m tempted to leave sometimes.
Ambitions: I’ve been studying to be a pediatric nurse for a while now. When I retire from adult, I plan on having a career where I can help children.
Best Place to Fuck: I’m boring…my big old bed. Sorry fellas! No screwing on a motorcycle for me!
Best Sex: It’s always with my boyfriend. We’ve been together for so long that he knows exactly what I want and how I want it. And we like to mix it up by bringing a girl home every now and then.
Favorite Position: Doggie, with one of my boyfriend’s hands slapping my ass and the other pulling my hair. I’m getting wet just thinking about it.
Questions & Answers:

HUSTLER: You’re one of the very few Indian starlets out there…is there any pressure to set an example?

SUNNY: Ha ha…none at all. The only pressure I get is from my parents. They’re pretty traditional. They’re not very happy with what I’m doing, but they are supportive. I keep reminding them that I’ll be a nurse before they know it and that usually calms them down.

HUSTLER: What’s been your favorite experience so far?

SUNNY: Going to Miami and interviewing celebrities for the MTV India Music awards on the red carpet. I spoke to everyone from Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas to the Doggfather himself, Snoop Dogg. What a crazy trip that was!

Tags: Political Commentary by Walrus
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Land of the free, home of the brave or does it go land of the brave, home of the free. It really doesn’t fucking matter because it definately does not describe our country any more any way. I mean that with no fucking disrespect for those poor bastards fighting in Iraq, Afgahnistan or simply a part of our fucked up military machine. I mean that the folks back home, the ones you need to count on, are a bunch of fucking pussies and we’ve become about as far away from being fucking free as our ancestors were when the country still belonged to England

But we have no more hero’s to dump tea into the Boston harbor. No more Paul Revere and his midnight ride.

I know, your thinking "what you talking bout Willis". So here the fuck goes.

Do you really fucking think you have a choice for President? Do you really subscribe to the fucking notion that you fucking vote counts? Maybe it would if there really were any fucking choices but, personally, I refuse to be relegated to the notion of voting for the "lesser of two evils" theory. Fucking evil is fucking evil! Besides, the sheepherders have already pre-ordained our next President, Barrack Obama, the Manchurian Candidate (don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about again… watch the fucking movie!) and all they now need to do is shepard all of you fuckers into voting booths to do their bidding. Obama is set with all the fucking money he needs (thanks to those $2.00 contributions to his website .. note the sarcasm?) to bombard you with brainwashing ads but he also gains in that there really is no one fucking running against him. Day by fucking day McCain is looking and sounding more and more like a Bush wanna be and even the libertarians have absolutely fucking nothing to offer other than a fucker who couldn’t make it as a republican because he is so fucking far right no reasonable person would send a vote his way. Oh and I consider myself a libertarian.

Home of the free? We are fucking having our freedoms stripped from us more and more every fucking day and while it had begun even before 9/11, the one thing that fucking arab asshole did was scare most of you fucking sheep into giving up your personal freedoms for security. Even though many of the changes that are happening have absolutely nothing to do with your security and every fucking thing to do with removing personal freedoms.

Here in LA, every fucking day you’ve got cops getting on commuter trains with dogs. Great, that should make you feel safe, right? I mean they are checking for bombs, aren’t they. Nope, these are dope sniffing dogs not bomb sniffers. I know some of you more rightous people out there are thinking great, they are ridding society of more drug addicts. But that comes at the cost of giving up your right to unlawful search and seizure.

Second, I seriously doubt any intelligent fucking terrorist would think that blowing up a commuter train in LA would cause much alarm. Fuck other than the 100 people you might kill and injure most people would have forgotten about it a day later. See her in LA, a fucked up commuter train wouldn’t affect too many lives. Now fuck up the freeway system…and your causing some intense hurt.

But really the government for years has been deciding what a grown thinking man can and can not do. They have been slowly eating away at your personal freedoms and you fucking sheep have been sitting back letting it happen. Some of you even applauding it because what you’ve never fucking bothered to learn in your miserable existance is that as they eat more and more of your personal freedoms it becomes easier and easier for them to continue to do it. Hell the fucking government has told you bigger lies about the dangers of cigarette’s than the tobacco company ever fucking dreamed of and now there are people scared to fucking death that a single breath of second hand cigarette smoke will doom them to a cancerous death.

Sadly, we’ve become the home of the sheep and the land of the pussies.

Babe for the Post
Tera Patrick | Tera Tera Tera

Tera Patrick, easily the world’s hottest adult actress. Since 1999 this half-Thai and half-English goddess has been lighting up the small screen in such porn classics as Forbidden Tales, Island Fever #3 and Tera Tera Tera.

Statistics:
Hair: Blonde,
Eyes: Brown,
Bust: 36 D,
Waist: 25,
Hips: 36,
Height: 5′9",
Weight: 120 lbs
Age: 29
Birthplace: Great Falls, Montana

Biography:

Favorite Movie: I hate to self-promote, but “Tera Tera Tera” It was the first movie that my husband [Evan Seinfeld] and I made together so it holds a special place in my heart and in our bedroom.

Favorite Song: Any song that has a screeching guitar solo. I don’t know what it is, but something about the way it sounds just hits me in a way that gets me excited and ready to be a bad girl.

Favorite Food: Spaghetti. I guess it’s because all the slurping reminds me of something…I wonder what?

Likes: I like a man who is aggressive. I am very submissive when it comes to satisfying men’s desires. I like a guy who knows how to have really hard sex, but then knows how to make love also.

Dislikes: I’m not very fond of bad hygiene, dirty shoes and small penises.

Ambitions: There’s so much on the horizon, I don’t know where to begin! I have a new line of sex toys coming out. I’m working on a book. I’m working on a reality show called, “Rock Star, Porn Star” about my an Evan’s life. And I’m still doing appearances around the country. I’m a busy girl!
Best Place to Fuck: This is going to sound lame, but I love fucking in my own bed. I’m big into being comfortable when I’m with my man and, to me, there’s no better place than my California King

Best Sex: Anytime I’m with Evan it’s absolutely mind-blowing. He knows just what I want: how to talk to me, where to touch me, where to lick me, when to fuck my brains out, when to make love to me. I loved sex before, but meeting him opened up an entire new world of personal sexuality. Everything about him is sexy. Just the thought of him inside me makes me want to call him and invite him over right now.

Favorite Position: Oh God, I’m sounding so lame again…but I really like the good ol’ missionary position. I like being able to look into Evan’s eyes.

Questions & Answers:
HUSTLER: Since you’ve become monogamous with Evan, do you miss being with other guys?
TERA: Believe it or not, I don’t. I don’t think I’ll ever get bored with him. Anyway, we keep things interesting. A little experimenting never hurt anyone and in our case it’s only made us stronger.

HUSTLER: Other than Biohazard, who’s in your CD player right now?
TERA: Oh Gosh…I really like the new Avenge Sevenfold CD. They’re a throwback to the time when metal was all about sex and drugs. We need more bands that really know how to rock!

Damn, definately my type of bitch! See more at Hustler

Tags: Political Commentary by Walrus
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I hope y’all had a good fucking 4th of July weekend. Personally I had no fucking plans so when the fucking neighbors invited me over for a 4th BBQ and I figured what the fuck. I’d go over, play nice, eat some BBQ and then make an excuse early and call it a fucking night.

I recognized a few others there from the our fucked up neighborhood and they had also fucking invited a few of the boring asses they fucking work with. I was the only fucking single dude at the party so I saw no need to hang around. My plans started changing as soon as I met one of the ladies from my neighbors office. She was married with a kid about 5, cute and came off as very flirtatous and possibly looking to have a little more fucking fun than just sitting around shooting the shit with the other fucking soccer mom’s while all the husbands compared their dicks and tried to figure out who could actually piss the farthest.

It can always be kind of a pain to cut the hot one out of the herd. The herd always wants to fucking pull them back in and the husbands seem to get a little concerned when the single guy pays too much fucking attention to their bitch. So the game starts with coincidental meetings in the kitchen, getting beers and what nots and then as everyone starts getting a little drunker finding the times for longer alone time while everyone else is too busy enjoying the buzz.

It took very little fucking flirting time before she made it perfectly clear to me that she would love to steal a few moments away for some purely adult time. We played most of the afternoon playing grab ass, clandestine meetings by the bathroom where we could do stupid kid shit like make out and cop a good feel or two. I knew we’d be doing it and I knew that the best time would be during the fucking fireworks display.

I’m going to spare you fucks the details of fucking the neighbors wife’s best friend on her bed and leaving her fuck hole filled to the brim with my man milk but I will say it must have been the best fucking sex the bitch had as she wanted to know if we could get together on a regular basis. Want to blast me ego, do like this bitch did and tell me she needs to have more of my cock.

Babe for the Post
Veronica Saint | This Saint’s a Winner

With her natural, girl-next-door good looks—and hailing from America’s Heartland to boot—Veronica Saint is the perfect choice for Valentine’s Day eye candy. “Being on the cover of HUSTLER is a dream come true!” proclaims the delectable 22-year-old. When Veronica is feeling romantic, who’s gonna sweep the babe off her feet? “I love the typical bad-boy rock ’n’ roller types,” she admits. “A dude covered in tattoos makes my pussy extra-wet. That doesn’t mean I won’t occasionally do a suit-and-tie guy. I’m not big on pickup lines, but I go crazy over someone who has strong body language and knows how to undress me with his eyes. My eyes are sexy, and I use them as a weapon.” Does the sweetheart go crazy for girls too? “Not yet,” she coos, “but I want to give it a try.” Meanwhile, Veronica’s ultimate sexual fantasy remains unfulfilled. “I want a tall and buff Native American man with long hair to drag me into the woods, where he would tie me to a tree and fuck me hard. He would then leave me all spent and dripping with sweat.” Whoa, Tonto! In the future, Veronica has big plans: “I’m going to create my own cosmetics line, maybe even a fragrance. Right now I’m finishing up my college degree and plan to get a master’s in English, then write a book or two. I’m very ambitious and full of great ideas, so the world is open to me.” Finally, Veronica offers a personal Valentine’s Day greeting to HUSTLER readers: “This is my gift to you, and I really hope you enjoy my pictures. Love you, guys!”

Statistics:
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Brown
Bust: 34C

Waist:26

Hips: 37

Height: 5′7”

Weight: 118

Biography:
Birthplace: Elmhurst, Illinois
Age: 22
Favorite Movie: Goodfellas! I absolutely love mobster movies and Scorcese!
Favorite Song: I’m really into the new Arcare Fire record. It’s called, "Neon Bible". It’s about hope, redemption, loss, growth…what it means to be human.
Favorite Food: Chinese food.
Likes: Working out, shopping, playing with my two puppies.
Dislikes: Housekeeping. I can’t remember the last time I picked up a broom or a mop. That’s what boyfriends are for!
Ambitions: I want to marry the man of my dreams and have a bunch of kids. Nothing too terrible exciting.
Best Place to Fuck: On set. There’s something really freeing about screwing in front of a room full of strangers. I can get wild.
Best Sex: Anytime I care about my partner. The sex can be bad–well, not THAT bad–and it’ll still feel good to me.
Favorite Position: I like getting good and fucked in the missionary position.
Questions & Answers:

HUSTLER: What’s your type?
SAINT: I love the typical bad-boy rock ‘n’ roller types. A dude covered in tattoos makes my pussy extra wet.

HUSTLER: Did you do anything special for Valentine’s Day?
SAINT: Nothing special. Got too drunk and fucked my brains out.

Damn, definately my type of bitch! See more at Hustler

Tags: Sex and The Walrus by Walrus
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Normally I’m not a fucking rumor mongor nor do I believe in airing ones dirty fucking laundry in public, especially when it comes to a fucking business where most people figure every fucking person in it is dirty anyway. But since that fucking bitch, Raven, herself decided to go public with this "you tube" video, I figured it would be cool to just fill everyone in on the shit.

Now if your want to hear the other side of the fucking story, you’ll have to forgo the fucking video as I quote from the fucking Xbiz article.

Leach asserts that Riley came to him in late March and stated that she didn’t want to be Raven Riley anymore. “She was tired of the business and wanted to change her phone number so no one from the industry could contact her,” Leach said. Riley’s number was changed April 9, at her request, and was used until it was turned off June 9, according to Leach.

Now as any of us smart fucking people know this is just like a fucking divorce, you can’t fucking believe everything that he says or everything that she says. Somewhere in the middle of all the fucking crap, all the fucking lies is the mother fucking truth but you can bet for sure that this is going to fucking be more like a celebrety break-up as opposed to your fucking meaningless little divorce and at some point the name calling and dirty fucking secrets are bound to come out.

Since I know you all are fucking wondering who the fuck I’m talking about, I figured I’d post a little sexier side of Raven just to refresh you all to fragile of fucking memories. Also, I’ve been personally assured that the site owns enough content to stay fresh for at least another year or so. If you really gotta have more of this fucking slut, go for it. You won’t get burned!

And no, posting this little dab of porn does not constitute the nude of the post so enjoy that too!!!

Meka Mulan- Nude for the Post

Chicago, IL

AGE: 26 HAIR COLOR: Blonde HEIGHT: 5ft 6in WEIGHT: 105 BREAST: 34C MEASUREMENTS: 34C-24-34

Playboys Sexy Wives Meka is woman of many loves. She prefers grilled cheese and ham sandwiches, sushi, happy hour, Chicago house music,  and photography. Her hobbies include boating, yoga, hiking, traveling abroad and dancing. To learn more about Meka check out the interview in the members area. At least check out her hot fucking photo gallery

Tags: Porn Shit by Walrus
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There has been a bunch of idiotic shit going on in the sports world lately and since I haven’t fucking been getting out enough lately to find shit that really pisses me off, I figured now would be a good time to document some of the stupidity.

Due to the fucking Kobe rap a couple of days ago, Shaq has lost his fucked up plastic Arizona sheriffs badge. Seems old Sheriff Joe was offended by his usage of colorful language. Get a fucking life! First, it’s not like Shaq was performing somewhere that he could have expected the taping. Second, he was rapping, what fucking rap song doesn’t have a little colorful language and finally asking Kobe how his ass tastes. This wasn’t a "tongue in cheek" comment just some good fucking natured teasing. Sheriff Joe just needs to realize he’s a fucking fossil and the usage of the English language is a bit different today from the life he lives in.

My buddy, Don Imus, is at it again but it seems that this time there will be no disciplanary action. In case you live under a fucking rock, here is what was said:

Don, old buddy, just admit it you are a fucking racist. I know you now have a new, racially sensative crew but what the fuck does that mean other than your a fucking racist. Otherwise, you or no one would give a rats ass about your crew. The point that everyone spends time explaining that you are now more racially sensative tends to prove my fucking point. As far as Pacman Jones…save your prayers, your going to need them because I have absolutely no doubt that you will find yourself in trouble with the NFL again, even though I really think thats all been way over blown as well.

Speaking of idiots in the NFL how about ex-running back Cedric Benson. He had most of us in his fucking hand with the drunken boating incident. I was personally convinced that he was being picked on. But then, while this is still lingering on, a drunk driving incident….now I ain’t a stupid fuck. Me thinks you fucked up twice.

Zusanna- Nude for the Post

Zusanna | Natural Wonder

Whenever one of our nifty photographers heads abroad to scout out fresh new talent, we here at HUSTLER wait with bated breath. As you can see, our latest find was worth the wait. An all-natural beauty, Zusanna comes to us from the Czech Republic. Now, we know what you’re thinking: Did they say “all natural”? Come on! Yes, the Eurodoll swears that her monstrous mammaries are 100% genuine. “They are all real!” Zusanna exclaims. “No implants. I’m just lucky to have big, juicy boobies.” No, sweetheart, we get to see them in all their glory. That makes us the lucky ones.

Statistics:
Hair: Blonde
Eyes: Blue
Bust: 32” DD
Waist: 24”
Hips: 32”
Height: 5′6"
Weight: 105 lbs

Biography:
Birthplace: Czech Republic
Age: 25
Favorite Movie: “The 40-Year-Old Virgin.” I would love to get my hands on a virgin and fuck him ‘til sunrise!
Favorite Song: “Like a Virgin,” by Madonna. Like I said, I love virgins.
Favorite Food: Fish Tacos and beer. It’s a good snack after sex. I love good food and good sex!
Likes: Posing nude, beaches and interesting people.
Dislikes: Cold weather, traffic and bad sex.
Ambitions: Since being in America, I have enjoyed myself very much. Especially posing for Hustler magazine! At home, I am a very serious businesswoman and showing off my naked body feels so liberating. When the photographer was shooting close ups of my pussy it started to gush because I got so horny thinking about all the men who will be stroking their stiff cocks from looking at my body. I was born with a tight body made to please my men! Best Place to Fuck: On a California beach with a hot, young surfer.
Best Place to Fuck: placesjjj
Best Sex: During my lunch break I was feeling really horny and I couldn’t control myself. Everyone in the office was out to lunch and I was all alone-or so I thought. I shut my door and slid my fingers down my satin panties and started rubbing my moist clit. I was in another world because I didn’t even hear the new temp walk in! He caught me! I was embarrassed at first until he unzipped his trousers and asked if he could join me for lunch. He shoved his tongue up my fuckhole and gave me multiple orgasms until I couldn’t take anymore. He was the best temp I ever hired.
Favorite Position: I like to be on top. I’m wild and I need to be in control.

Questions & Answers:

HUSTLER: What turns you on?
SUZANNA: There are a lot of things that can turn me on. If I were a man, I would have a hard cock 24/7! My pussy is always wet. I wake up every morning thinking of a stiff prick rubbing against my clit. My hand makes its way down my stomach and into my pussy and I finger fuck myself until I come all over my hand. Then I get up, go to work, fantasize about more sex and come home and fuck myself before I fall asleep. I am a very naughty girl…

HUSTLER: Are you into women, too?
SUZANNA: Mmmm…Definitely! Who wouldn’t want to taste a little pussy now and then? Women taste so sweet and salty, like a French dessert. My favorite night of fun is to have a fat cock sliding in and out of my tight slit while a hard-bodied blonde is riding my face with her mound. I am a businesswoman and I am very good at multi-tasking. There is no woman that I couldn’t handle.

Tags: Sports Commentary by Walrus
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Now this is some funny shit and believe it or not, I’m gonna leave my personal comments aside and simply add in the video.

For some fucking reason I can not get the fucking video to embed so here’s the link until I actually figure this shit out. Nevermind it’s working now, bitch mother fucker

Malou- Nude for the Post

Malou | Hustler Babe

Statistics:

Hair: Blonde,
Eyes: Blue,
Bust: 34C,
Waist:24,
Hips: 34,
Height: 5′6″,
Weight: 108

Biography:

Birthplace: Copenhagen, Denmark

Age: 24

Favorite Movie: Amelie. I adore that fact it’s a good-natured fairytale about love. And it’s just visually stunning.

Favorite Song: Abba’s “Dancing Queen”. Whenever I hear this tune I can’t help but move my body.

Favorite Food: Bornholmer. It’s actually smoked herring. I know it sounds gross, but it’s very popular where I’m from.

Likes: I’m a big fan of bike-riding and going hiking. I’m usually up for anything outdoorsy.

Dislikes: This might be a little political, but Hustler’s a political magazine, right? I really dislike America’s current political administration and its stance on international issues.

Ambitions: I’m hoping to one day move to the US and become a world-wide celebrity!

Best Place to Fuck: I’m a big fan of screwing on this leather couch I inherited from an old boyfriend. Every time I have sex on it I think about how badly he treated me and I feel like I’m getting revenge.

Best Sex: Any sex that involves more than one other person. I love group sex…especially when the girls are hot!

Favorite Position: For anal I like doggie and for vaginal I like cowgirl.

Questions & Answers:

HUSTLER: What do you think about Americans?

MALOU: I feel bad for you guys right now. I know that your president doesn’t reflect the entire country, but everyone in the European community feels like he’s giving you guys a bad name.

HUSTLER: Enough about politics. Tell is something dirty.

MALOU: The last time I visited my parent’s house, I went with my boyfriend. Every night when my parents fell asleep we would have sex all over the house. It was a little weird doing it in my childhood bedroom, but it was definitely HOT.

Tags: Geek Shit, Political Commentary, Sports Commentary by Walrus
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It’s a sad day as I awoke to learn that George Carlin is dead. While I know every fucking blog, every fucking news site and every fucking person who can write will lament on the passing of this american idol, I still fucking have to do it. He was just that great. Although greatness isn’t probably the right word, he was the funniest mother fucker to ever fucking stand on a stage and entertain people.

I can still remember those seven words which even today can not be said on TV, Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker and Tits! He had first fucking did this skit in the good ole mid-west, Milwaukee, where he was fucking promptly arrested for disturbing the peace. What the fuck, did people laugh so loud the fucking neighbors complained. Eventually, when it went to court a judge with a little fucking sense through the charges out stating the obvious, how was the fucking peace disturbed.

But I’m guessing that you’ve probably already read most of this stuff, except, perhaps what those magic seven words were. I just needed to say good-bye to an icon. Good-bye George, perhaps now some people will laugh with you but also understand that they are actually laughing at the sadness that our society has become.

McKenzie Lee- Nude for the Post

McKenzie | Hustler Babe

Statistics:
Hair: Brown, Eyes: Brown, Bust: 32D, Waist: 24, Hips: 32, Height: 5′4”, Weight: 105

Biography:
Birthplace: Leicester, England
Age: 27

Favorite Movie: The Lion In Winter". Peter O’Toole’s performance as King Henry the II is one of the most memorable in modern cinema.

Favorite Song: This is hard! There’s so many to choose from. As of late, I’ve been listening to Gnarls Barkley’s "Crazy" almost constantly.

Favorite Food: You Americans may find this disgusting, but baked beans on toast.

Likes: I LOVE fast food! It’s my achilles heel. McDonald’s, Burger King, Taco Bell, you name it. If there’s a drive-thru, chances are I’ve been there at least once.

Dislikes: Exercising. I know I need to work-out because of all the junk food I eat, but it’s so hard to get motivated and drag myself to the gym.

Ambitions: My future goal is to keep pleasing my fans by doing rocking sex scenes, and obviously to make Jenna as proud as I possibly can.

Best Place to Fuck: Have you used one of those Liberator things yet? Oh. My. God. The position you can achieve and the things you can do on that is amazing.

Best Sex: I’d have to say the best sex I’ve ever had is with my now-fiance. We’re just so good together that everytime we fuck it’s amazing.

Favorite Position: I absolutely adore reverse cow-girl. Not only does it allow me to control the action, but my partner gets a great view.

Tags: Ramblings by Walrus
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If you’ve ever fucking been surfing the web, I fucking know you’ve ran across the multitude of torrent sites that are out there. Great fucking places right? You can fucking download almost any fucking thing your heart desires and maybe you haven’t noticed but the only fucking thing you have to give up is your computer.

The shit you download from these fucking places not only have been fucking stolen but they’ve also been so infected with spyware / adware / trojans / god only knows what other kind of shit that you basicly turn over your computer to the hackers who have stolen the good from someone else. Personally, I’ve always found it much to steep a price to pay. I’d much rather have my computer operating at it’s maximum capacity than have all that crap bogging it down.

Not to mention the possibility of having my credit card info stolen or my keystrokes logged or god only knows what other information they can gather while I search the internet.

Well, you fucking freebie hunters, your days seem to be numbered as the MPAA (movie pictures etc etc) seems to be having some very nice success shutting these fucking theives down due to copyright infringements. Seems the courts are siding with the movie people and laying down some steep fines according to this fucking article in ARS Technica. It seems at least two of the fucking freebie loving fucking thieving sites ShowStash.net and Cinematube.net are now 4 million dollars poorer. Why, because they profit by stealing the fucking work of others!

These are some of the smaller ones, easy wins for the MPAA to set precident with. You can be sure that the big fucking theives won’t be far behind.

Personally, I applaud this. Torrent and / or tube site are simply stealing from people who work hard for a fucking living. By giving away the product others work hard to develop they devalue that product. In other words, they take the food out of the mouth of the baby I don’t have, but many fucking others do.

Porn has become a very hard sell ( in case you didn’t know, thats what the fuck I do) and I mostly blame torrent sites for the easy availability. Oh and you stupid fuckers who don’t fucking realize your cripling your fucking computer by downloading this crap…oh ya, and then you blame porn for all your problems. Stupid mother fuckers

Tags: Ramblings by Walrus
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Government scores victory against woman who can’t leave her house. I’ll leave all the legal angles to AVN and the article they ran. I’ll just tell you that this lady ran some of the most obscene stories about the abuse and torture of children perhaps ever written. Shit that even I’m fucking disgusted with. But there are 3 fucking things about this case that fucking bugs me more than the detestable stories she has written.

One, of all the sexually explicit text based internet sites, the fucking government chose to go after an invalid. Someone so fucked up in the head that she is completely afraid to leave her own fucking house. Someone who would gladly cop to just about anything they wanted to throw at her just to not have to try and deal with going to court for a couple weeks or perhaps serve jail time. In other words, our caring govenment went after the weak link so that they could simply get an easy victory. This is the biggest kind of pussy ass shit I’ve seen in years. It’s not even like she had a huge money making site. She charged a whole $10 for access and had a whopping 79 fucking perverts reading and contributing to her site.

Second, now the government can indeed censor text. Remember these were fucking fictional stories. Not a single child was hurt in the writing of them. Interestingly while the writing of fucking fictional stories is a big fucking NO-NO, Hollywood can still continue to make television shows and movies where the can "show" this type of behavior. So it’s ok to film and broadcast child abuse but it’s not ok to write about it. Guess if she had billions of dollars to donate to politicians this wouldn’t be a fucking issue would it.

Third and what I really find the most disturbing in all, there is no outcry. Why are we allowing the government to reduce our freedoms, to be able to now say, I don’t like what you’ve written, whether it’s fact based or fiction, so I am going to fuck you up the ass and they have a case to back them up with. Make no fucking mistakes, you sheep, this is censorship and while I may not fucking enjoy what this fucked up lady cares to write about, I recognize that in order to preserve our freedoms we have to fight for the rights of people who do things that we don’t fucking agree with because the next time it could be one of my or your excentricities that the government finds offensive and who is going to be there to stand up for you.

Tags: Legal Commentary by Walrus
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