Chasing the Walrus

This fucking bitch is Cytnthia Good, a fucking feminist and founding editor of Pink Magazine in Atlanta. Seems she got her fucking panties all in a wad over the fact that the "Men at Work" signs were present even when women were actually there working with their fucking male counterparts. She fucking wants "gender neutral" signs.

Seriously, with all the fucking other problems in the country, not to mention the fucking world, couldn’t she find something, anything more pressing than fucking "gender neutral" signs for street workers in the Atlanta area to get her precious tight panties all fucked up over. You know something like the homeless child in Atlanta who goes to sleep in the fucking back seat of a car with nothing to eat.

Atlanta, well it seems it agrees about being fucking gender neutral and if fucking going to paint all of the signs to meet this new standard. It should only cost the fucking city $1000 to do. Maybe the fucking homeless kid can eat the next sign he / she (trying to be gender neutral here) fucking sees.

But Atlanta isn’t enough, Ms. Good now plans on a total fucking national attack campaign and sadly I suspect way too many fuckinng states will fall in line with Atlanta. Ms. Good, one question, at your feminist fucking magazine, how may men you have writing articles for you and I don’t mean fucking gay guys either, they’re nothing but bitchs anyway.

In the interest of gender neutrality, I’ve got a few things that I think should be fucking changed immediately.
menapause - you know that time in a woman’s life when …. well fuck when she’s getting too fucking old.
menstral cramp - again, what the fuck does this have to do with a fucking men
menstration - do I really fucking need to type any fucking thing here
Seriously, what does "men" have to fucking do with these fucking times in a womans life when men most likely want to be as far away as fucking possible and no I don’t use a fucking dictionary so if your too fucking stupid to figure out what the fuck I’m talking about, thats your own fucking problem.

In all honesty, politcal correctness really doesn’t have any fucking place in society. Anyone who would be offended by most of the inane crap that the PC patrol care to fucking whip out just don’t have enough in their sad little fucking lives. So go ahead, call me a fucking red neck, asshole, or just about anything else you can think of. It ain’t going to hurt my fucking feelings.

But my most burning question is this, why wasn’t Ms. Good cited for vandalism on the signs she spray painted a pink "wo" in front of men at work!

Today’s Babe Sunny Leone

\Click the pic to be transformed into a Hustler dude!

Sunny Leone | Reflections Of Love
Sunny Leone, whose parents had emigrated from India, grew up in Canada and relocated to Southern California in 1996 with her family. Soon after graduating from high school, the ingenue began modeling, slowly transitioning from mainstream work to nude layouts. Finally opting to have sex in front of the camera, she signed with Vivid Video in ’05 and stars in Sunny, Virtual Vivid Girl Sunny Leone and other hard-core releases.

Statistics:

Hair: Brown, Eyes: Brown, Bust: 34B, Waist:24, Hips: 34, Height: 5′ 4, Weight: 110
Biography:

Birthplace: Ontario, Canada
Age: 25
Favorite Movie: The Princess Bride. I can quote that movie endlessly.
Favorite Song: Right now it’s Rhianna’s “SOS”. I like mostly dance and hip hop…anything I can shake it to.
Favorite Food: I’m hesitant to say, but I really like In-N-Out. It’s not very good for you, but I love a “Double Double”.
Likes: I like girlie girl stuff. Shopping, cooking, just hanging out. I like being around my friends and family.
Dislikes: I’m really impatient, so waiting around. I get so antsy on shoot days that I’m tempted to leave sometimes.
Ambitions: I’ve been studying to be a pediatric nurse for a while now. When I retire from adult, I plan on having a career where I can help children.
Best Place to Fuck: I’m boring…my big old bed. Sorry fellas! No screwing on a motorcycle for me!
Best Sex: It’s always with my boyfriend. We’ve been together for so long that he knows exactly what I want and how I want it. And we like to mix it up by bringing a girl home every now and then.
Favorite Position: Doggie, with one of my boyfriend’s hands slapping my ass and the other pulling my hair. I’m getting wet just thinking about it.
Questions & Answers:

HUSTLER: You’re one of the very few Indian starlets out there…is there any pressure to set an example?

SUNNY: Ha ha…none at all. The only pressure I get is from my parents. They’re pretty traditional. They’re not very happy with what I’m doing, but they are supportive. I keep reminding them that I’ll be a nurse before they know it and that usually calms them down.

HUSTLER: What’s been your favorite experience so far?

SUNNY: Going to Miami and interviewing celebrities for the MTV India Music awards on the red carpet. I spoke to everyone from Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas to the Doggfather himself, Snoop Dogg. What a crazy trip that was!

Tags: Political Commentary by Walrus
No Comments »

Land of the free, home of the brave or does it go land of the brave, home of the free. It really doesn’t fucking matter because it definately does not describe our country any more any way. I mean that with no fucking disrespect for those poor bastards fighting in Iraq, Afgahnistan or simply a part of our fucked up military machine. I mean that the folks back home, the ones you need to count on, are a bunch of fucking pussies and we’ve become about as far away from being fucking free as our ancestors were when the country still belonged to England

But we have no more hero’s to dump tea into the Boston harbor. No more Paul Revere and his midnight ride.

I know, your thinking "what you talking bout Willis". So here the fuck goes.

Do you really fucking think you have a choice for President? Do you really subscribe to the fucking notion that you fucking vote counts? Maybe it would if there really were any fucking choices but, personally, I refuse to be relegated to the notion of voting for the "lesser of two evils" theory. Fucking evil is fucking evil! Besides, the sheepherders have already pre-ordained our next President, Barrack Obama, the Manchurian Candidate (don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about again… watch the fucking movie!) and all they now need to do is shepard all of you fuckers into voting booths to do their bidding. Obama is set with all the fucking money he needs (thanks to those $2.00 contributions to his website .. note the sarcasm?) to bombard you with brainwashing ads but he also gains in that there really is no one fucking running against him. Day by fucking day McCain is looking and sounding more and more like a Bush wanna be and even the libertarians have absolutely fucking nothing to offer other than a fucker who couldn’t make it as a republican because he is so fucking far right no reasonable person would send a vote his way. Oh and I consider myself a libertarian.

Home of the free? We are fucking having our freedoms stripped from us more and more every fucking day and while it had begun even before 9/11, the one thing that fucking arab asshole did was scare most of you fucking sheep into giving up your personal freedoms for security. Even though many of the changes that are happening have absolutely nothing to do with your security and every fucking thing to do with removing personal freedoms.

Here in LA, every fucking day you’ve got cops getting on commuter trains with dogs. Great, that should make you feel safe, right? I mean they are checking for bombs, aren’t they. Nope, these are dope sniffing dogs not bomb sniffers. I know some of you more rightous people out there are thinking great, they are ridding society of more drug addicts. But that comes at the cost of giving up your right to unlawful search and seizure.

Second, I seriously doubt any intelligent fucking terrorist would think that blowing up a commuter train in LA would cause much alarm. Fuck other than the 100 people you might kill and injure most people would have forgotten about it a day later. See her in LA, a fucked up commuter train wouldn’t affect too many lives. Now fuck up the freeway system…and your causing some intense hurt.

But really the government for years has been deciding what a grown thinking man can and can not do. They have been slowly eating away at your personal freedoms and you fucking sheep have been sitting back letting it happen. Some of you even applauding it because what you’ve never fucking bothered to learn in your miserable existance is that as they eat more and more of your personal freedoms it becomes easier and easier for them to continue to do it. Hell the fucking government has told you bigger lies about the dangers of cigarette’s than the tobacco company ever fucking dreamed of and now there are people scared to fucking death that a single breath of second hand cigarette smoke will doom them to a cancerous death.

Sadly, we’ve become the home of the sheep and the land of the pussies.

Babe for the Post
Tera Patrick | Tera Tera Tera

Tera Patrick, easily the world’s hottest adult actress. Since 1999 this half-Thai and half-English goddess has been lighting up the small screen in such porn classics as Forbidden Tales, Island Fever #3 and Tera Tera Tera.

Statistics:
Hair: Blonde,
Eyes: Brown,
Bust: 36 D,
Waist: 25,
Hips: 36,
Height: 5′9",
Weight: 120 lbs
Age: 29
Birthplace: Great Falls, Montana

Biography:

Favorite Movie: I hate to self-promote, but “Tera Tera Tera” It was the first movie that my husband [Evan Seinfeld] and I made together so it holds a special place in my heart and in our bedroom.

Favorite Song: Any song that has a screeching guitar solo. I don’t know what it is, but something about the way it sounds just hits me in a way that gets me excited and ready to be a bad girl.

Favorite Food: Spaghetti. I guess it’s because all the slurping reminds me of something…I wonder what?

Likes: I like a man who is aggressive. I am very submissive when it comes to satisfying men’s desires. I like a guy who knows how to have really hard sex, but then knows how to make love also.

Dislikes: I’m not very fond of bad hygiene, dirty shoes and small penises.

Ambitions: There’s so much on the horizon, I don’t know where to begin! I have a new line of sex toys coming out. I’m working on a book. I’m working on a reality show called, “Rock Star, Porn Star” about my an Evan’s life. And I’m still doing appearances around the country. I’m a busy girl!
Best Place to Fuck: This is going to sound lame, but I love fucking in my own bed. I’m big into being comfortable when I’m with my man and, to me, there’s no better place than my California King

Best Sex: Anytime I’m with Evan it’s absolutely mind-blowing. He knows just what I want: how to talk to me, where to touch me, where to lick me, when to fuck my brains out, when to make love to me. I loved sex before, but meeting him opened up an entire new world of personal sexuality. Everything about him is sexy. Just the thought of him inside me makes me want to call him and invite him over right now.

Favorite Position: Oh God, I’m sounding so lame again…but I really like the good ol’ missionary position. I like being able to look into Evan’s eyes.

Questions & Answers:
HUSTLER: Since you’ve become monogamous with Evan, do you miss being with other guys?
TERA: Believe it or not, I don’t. I don’t think I’ll ever get bored with him. Anyway, we keep things interesting. A little experimenting never hurt anyone and in our case it’s only made us stronger.

HUSTLER: Other than Biohazard, who’s in your CD player right now?
TERA: Oh Gosh…I really like the new Avenge Sevenfold CD. They’re a throwback to the time when metal was all about sex and drugs. We need more bands that really know how to rock!

Damn, definately my type of bitch! See more at Hustler

Tags: Political Commentary by Walrus
No Comments »

There has been a bunch of idiotic shit going on in the sports world lately and since I haven’t fucking been getting out enough lately to find shit that really pisses me off, I figured now would be a good time to document some of the stupidity.

Due to the fucking Kobe rap a couple of days ago, Shaq has lost his fucked up plastic Arizona sheriffs badge. Seems old Sheriff Joe was offended by his usage of colorful language. Get a fucking life! First, it’s not like Shaq was performing somewhere that he could have expected the taping. Second, he was rapping, what fucking rap song doesn’t have a little colorful language and finally asking Kobe how his ass tastes. This wasn’t a "tongue in cheek" comment just some good fucking natured teasing. Sheriff Joe just needs to realize he’s a fucking fossil and the usage of the English language is a bit different today from the life he lives in.

My buddy, Don Imus, is at it again but it seems that this time there will be no disciplanary action. In case you live under a fucking rock, here is what was said:

Don, old buddy, just admit it you are a fucking racist. I know you now have a new, racially sensative crew but what the fuck does that mean other than your a fucking racist. Otherwise, you or no one would give a rats ass about your crew. The point that everyone spends time explaining that you are now more racially sensative tends to prove my fucking point. As far as Pacman Jones…save your prayers, your going to need them because I have absolutely no doubt that you will find yourself in trouble with the NFL again, even though I really think thats all been way over blown as well.

Speaking of idiots in the NFL how about ex-running back Cedric Benson. He had most of us in his fucking hand with the drunken boating incident. I was personally convinced that he was being picked on. But then, while this is still lingering on, a drunk driving incident….now I ain’t a stupid fuck. Me thinks you fucked up twice.

Zusanna- Nude for the Post

Zusanna | Natural Wonder

Whenever one of our nifty photographers heads abroad to scout out fresh new talent, we here at HUSTLER wait with bated breath. As you can see, our latest find was worth the wait. An all-natural beauty, Zusanna comes to us from the Czech Republic. Now, we know what you’re thinking: Did they say “all natural”? Come on! Yes, the Eurodoll swears that her monstrous mammaries are 100% genuine. “They are all real!” Zusanna exclaims. “No implants. I’m just lucky to have big, juicy boobies.” No, sweetheart, we get to see them in all their glory. That makes us the lucky ones.

Statistics:
Hair: Blonde
Eyes: Blue
Bust: 32” DD
Waist: 24”
Hips: 32”
Height: 5′6"
Weight: 105 lbs

Biography:
Birthplace: Czech Republic
Age: 25
Favorite Movie: “The 40-Year-Old Virgin.” I would love to get my hands on a virgin and fuck him ‘til sunrise!
Favorite Song: “Like a Virgin,” by Madonna. Like I said, I love virgins.
Favorite Food: Fish Tacos and beer. It’s a good snack after sex. I love good food and good sex!
Likes: Posing nude, beaches and interesting people.
Dislikes: Cold weather, traffic and bad sex.
Ambitions: Since being in America, I have enjoyed myself very much. Especially posing for Hustler magazine! At home, I am a very serious businesswoman and showing off my naked body feels so liberating. When the photographer was shooting close ups of my pussy it started to gush because I got so horny thinking about all the men who will be stroking their stiff cocks from looking at my body. I was born with a tight body made to please my men! Best Place to Fuck: On a California beach with a hot, young surfer.
Best Place to Fuck: placesjjj
Best Sex: During my lunch break I was feeling really horny and I couldn’t control myself. Everyone in the office was out to lunch and I was all alone-or so I thought. I shut my door and slid my fingers down my satin panties and started rubbing my moist clit. I was in another world because I didn’t even hear the new temp walk in! He caught me! I was embarrassed at first until he unzipped his trousers and asked if he could join me for lunch. He shoved his tongue up my fuckhole and gave me multiple orgasms until I couldn’t take anymore. He was the best temp I ever hired.
Favorite Position: I like to be on top. I’m wild and I need to be in control.

Questions & Answers:

HUSTLER: What turns you on?
SUZANNA: There are a lot of things that can turn me on. If I were a man, I would have a hard cock 24/7! My pussy is always wet. I wake up every morning thinking of a stiff prick rubbing against my clit. My hand makes its way down my stomach and into my pussy and I finger fuck myself until I come all over my hand. Then I get up, go to work, fantasize about more sex and come home and fuck myself before I fall asleep. I am a very naughty girl…

HUSTLER: Are you into women, too?
SUZANNA: Mmmm…Definitely! Who wouldn’t want to taste a little pussy now and then? Women taste so sweet and salty, like a French dessert. My favorite night of fun is to have a fat cock sliding in and out of my tight slit while a hard-bodied blonde is riding my face with her mound. I am a businesswoman and I am very good at multi-tasking. There is no woman that I couldn’t handle.

Tags: Sports Commentary by Walrus
No Comments »