Chasing the Walrus

I’ve been seeing bitchs with this saying on a t-shirt all over fucking town lately. The sad thing is… the bitch’s that are wearing them are probably sending the warning to the only fucking guys who would actually fucking do them. Seriously, every fucking bitch I’ve seen wearing this particular shirt is beyond coyote ugly. No matter how drunk I fucking was I couldn’t do these bitchs. My dick does have a mind of its own and chicks this ugly it simply says it ain’t going to let me do something that stupid and refuses to perform. That’s sad, so fucking ugly the dick won’t cooperate.

So I’ve been fucking thinking that perhaps I should come up with fucking shirt slogan for the poor guys, excluded from the ugliest of the female human race. Here’s some fucking suggestions, add to them if you fucking can!

• Your fat, Your Ugly, I’m Desperate
• I’m Broke, No Car and Your Only Shot
• I only do rich ugly women
• No Money, No Car, Your only Chance
• Look in the mirror - then think about it
• No problem, My hand is cuter
• If you get plastic surgery - I’ll get a job
• With that fat ass do you really think you should be selective
• I’ve got a car, I’ve got money, I’m not interested
• No money, No car, No chance, No Problem

I know I need to do a RNC post to balance out things and not fucking appear as if I’ve lost my objectivity like most of the network news shows. I’ll put something together pretty fucking soon but one thing I’ve got to say,,, the Republicans have a MILF and a mature bitch that I’d fuck. The democrates don’t.

Now for the babe of the post:

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Don’t you fucking hate when a song gets stuck in your fucking head and why is it that it’s never a fucking song you really fucking like? I doubt I’d have anything to fucking post about if it was something like "Stairway to Heaven" that was stuck. But no it’s always some dumb ass song that usually I don’t know more than a few lines from and couldn’t tell you the title if you offered me a whole shitload of cash. Tonight it’s "baby, baby it’s a wild world, it’s hard to get by with just a smile girl". Now this is the only part of the fucking song in my head. No more no less and all I can think about is what a fucking load of crap that is.

Seriously, if I had been born a bitch rather than a fucking bastard, I’d be a slut. A rich fucking slut but a slut none the less. Start right out of high school with strip clubs and doing a whole shitload of nasty shit on the "net". There are plenty of guys just like me who would be more than happy to work with them to build their own website and help promote them in all the right places.

Of course the first mistake most of these chicks make is they try to do it with friends. Boyfriends are the fucking worst. As your popularity rises so does their jealousy. Besides, no matter what they think, they don’t know shit about web promotions.

But anyway, with the right manager / promoter with in no time (a couple of years) you’ll be doing feature sets at the top notch strip clubs with a gauranteed take, modeling for the Playboys, Penthouses of the world and racking in 6 figures a month. A smart investment and saving plan by the time your ready to quit you’ll never have to work again.

But one of the wonders of the internet is even if your not hot enough for Playboy you can still make bank. It might take a few years longer but the cash is still going to be there and you’ll be young enough that you’ll be able to do what ever you want to do.

And if I was a chick I’d be doing it all and smiling all the way to the bank.

Today’s Babe of the Post - Sandee Westgate

Sandee

With her tasty DDs and killer curves, Sandee doesn’t look like a computer geek, but she designed and updates three Web sites, as well as her own. “It’s a full-time job,” the brabusting cybergal explains. Half Sicilian, the top-heavy Taurus hopes to visit Italy someday. “I’d like to learn more about my heritage.” The 25-year-old enjoys walking her dog at local parks and shopping for lingerie. “I go wild at Victoria’s Secret,” she giggles.

Statistics:

Hair: Blondish Brown, Eyes: Brown, Bust: 36 DD, Waist: 26, Hips: 33, Height: 5′5", Weight: 112 lbs
Biography:

Birthplace: Newport Beach. CA
Age: 25
Favorite Movie: “Lost in Translation.” I like the idea of a young, hot girl hooking up with an older man.
Favorite Song: “Rock Your Body” by Justin Timberlake. That’s a good song to screw around to.
Favorite Food: Spaghetti with meatballs. I like chowing down on a big meatball.
Likes: Computers, chocolate, lingerie, and my playing with my dog.
Dislikes: Cold weather, liars, and bad sex partners.
Ambitions: I would love to visit Sicily and learn more about my heritage. I hear the boys over in Italy are really horny and I bet they would go crazy for these DDs and tight pussy. I get off on thinking about how I can turn someone on. I practice being hot by wearing lingerie even when I am home all alone. I pull out my favorite vibrator and start buzzing away at my slick clit. Mmm…I am getting all turned on just talking about it.
Best Place to Fuck: On a huge, fluffy bed with candles lit all around us.
Best Sex: I was driving home late at night from Las Vegas with a girlfriend of mine when we hit a huge traffic jam. We got bored of talking and listening to music real fast. So I felt this courageous surge and I began rubbing my hand on her soft thigh. When she didn’t stop me, I knew we were about to fuck. I slid my hand up her shorts and began rubbing her pussy lips. She started grinding herself on my finger until she came. We climbed into the back seat and ate each other out for two hours! Now I wish she was always with me when I am in a traffic jam.
Favorite Position: I’m an old fashioned girl so I like to take it missionary style.
Questions & Answers:

HUSTLER: Have you always been a horny person?

SANDEE: Yes, definitely. My tits started growing at a young age and from there I became a dirty-minded teenager. I couldn’t wait to have sex! So on my 18th birthday I snuck out of the house and went on a date with this college guy. I couldn’t even wait to get out of my neighborhood to start playing with his cock. It grew hard instantly so he pulled over and told me to sit on his lap. I came three times all over his cock! I’ve loved sex ever since.

HUSTLER: Do you like posing nude for HUSTLER?

SANDEE: I love it! I feel so lucky to be able to show off my pretty pussy to your readers. I know they’ll be so happy when they see me plunge my finger deep inside my wet clam. I shaved my lips bare so they could see how smooth and slick my puss is. I get off on the idea that men all around the world will be staring and my centerfold while they jerk their hard cocks off to my sweet, tight fuck hole. That’s my favorite part about posing nude.

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There’s been some really fucking wierd shit in the news lately. Big Foot has been located. Seems two good ole southern boys found the dead carcus of a big foot. Of course DNA testing results show that one sample is human and the other sample is "coon, So the Walrus will tell you what really fucking happened. Two good ole boys go out into the woods hunting "coon (raccoon to those of you not fucking hip to the southern lingo) and drinking shine. They get lost for two fucking days and on the way back know they’ve got to come up with a fucking story someone might believe. That means the coons keep getting bigger until it’s not coons anymore it’s a big foot. To actually try to convince someone whether it be a wife, a boss, whomever that they didn’t just get drunk and lost in the woods, they buy a gorilla costume or maybe even a big foot costume, stick it in a freezer, snap a couple of pics and story confirmed. But now the big coon hunting tale starts spreading like wild fire. What the fuck they gonna do? Admit that they made this whole fucking thing up of find the one man in the whole country who loves putting on Big Foot hoax. Yep, once you got a whooper like that going best to stick with the story.

Italy is in the news, seems they are cracking the fuck down on crime and have allowed the mayors a little additional latitude when it comes to passing laws. Here just a taste of what now maybe illegal in Italy:

• It could be illegal for you to be in a bikini and not at the beach, especially if your in Capri
• Building sandcastles is forbidden
• No mowing of the lawn on weekends
• No public displays of affection while in a car (I wonder is public displays of affection allowed if your on the sidewalk?)
• No groups larger than two allowed to be relaxing in the park at night (are public displays of affection allowed if the group is less than or equal to two?)
• and definately no reading of books in the park

Reminds me of home here in California where in some area’s they want to outlaw the building of any additional fast food restaurants. It seems McDonalds is the blame for the country getting fatter. Me, its not Mickey D’s fault but I’m sure I can find someone to blame. Or the fact that people have told so many lies about the dangers of second hand smoke it’s now illegal in some area’s to smoke in the apartment your rent. You know someone might walk by the room, catch just a sniff of the odor and drop dead on the spot with cancer. I will save my rant on how the anti-smoking movement has told more fucking lies than the tabacco companies ever have for another day.

In Colorado a cow and a bear were getting a little frisky with each other. Thank god public displays of affection are allowed in Colorado but then again, I wouldn’t try to arrest a horny bear.

A couple teens in Germany developed a motorized office chair. German police confiscated the chair and are now contemplating possible charges including defying insurance regulations, driving without a license and violating registration requirements

But my pick hit for the dumbest fucking cop in America goes to the Kentucky sheriff who drove 4100 miles to California to pick up a fugative and then drove all the fucking way back to Ky. before he realized he had the wrong guy. All this over a fleeing and evading police and drunken driving warrant. At least when they figured out that they had nabbed the wrong dude, they did buy him a airplane ticket home. Lets just forget the 3-5 days spent in jail waiting for the sheriff to come pick him up and the other three days riding in the back of a police car, in hand cuffs. Sounds like an unlawful imprisonment lawsuit just waiting to happen to me. Of course, the cops blame it on identity theft.

Shyla Stylez | Making Beautiful Music

How did a small-town girl from Canada get into the skin biz? “Well, men have always liked looking at my body,” Shyla remarks, “and I love showing it off. I thought, Why not let everyone see what I have? People have always told me I have a lot of sex appeal. So I flew to Los Angeles and did my first HUSTLER spread. Do you think the readers will like it?” Let’s ask them. Whaddaya think, guys? Shyla is also not shy about discussing her no-holes-barred porn career, which got off to a thunderous start in 2001 with Gangbang Auditions #8. “I took a little break,” the knockout reveals, “but now I’m back shooting films as we speak. I just did a great D.P. scene.” When not seductively stripping down for the camera, Shyla hunkers down on the farm in scenic British Columbia. “I love to read and watch movies at home,” she says. “That doesn’t mean I’m boring. I also love to go bungee-jumping. I’ve done it two times now. All that bouncing up and down gets me wet through my Wranglers. I also like to cook. I’m a master at baking a turkey, and my cheesecakes are to die for.” Before we can ask what fruity toppings adorn her cheesecakes, Shyla exclaims, “Plus, I love to fuck! I’m a very open and dirty girl. I love anything that is erotic and going to take it to the next level. I dig oral, and I love to get banged by a guy in the missionary position while a woman has her pussy in my face.” What does this sweet little missy want to do down the line? “I wouldn’t mind making a living as a musician and a nude model,” Shyla hints. “Maybe I could combine both and be the first naked country star. Like Johnny Cash—only blond and with nice DD boobies!”

Statistics:

Hair: Blonde, Eyes: Green, Bust: 32D, Waist:22, Hips: 32, Height: 5′3”, Weight: 108
Biography:

Birthplace: British Columbia, Canada
Age: 24
Favorite Movie: Fast Times At Ridgemont High. I think it was when Phoebe Cates took off her bikini top I realized I was into chicks.
Favorite Song: "Dear God" by XTC. I get chills everytime I hear the lyrics "I don’t believe in you…"
Favorite Food: There’s nothing I like more than a smoothie from Jamba Juice. And I always get an energy boost with it!
Likes: I love sitting at home and watching television. I’m such a "Lost" fanatic that my friends are a little frightened. And don’t get me started on "Deal or No Deal". I love that show!
Dislikes: While I love Cananda, I really can’t stand the cold weather anymore. I try to visit as infrequently as possible these days because I’ve gotten use to the California sun.
Ambitions: The same answer everyone gives: become a director and start a production company. I know, so clich?.
Best Place to Fuck: Anywhere! If I’m horny enough I’d fuck someone on a pile of trash. I think I just made a few garbagemen really happy.
Best Sex: I shouldn’t encourage this, but I’m a huge fan of drunken, sloppy sex. The booze lets me lose all my inhibitions and go crazy.
Favorite Position: I can only pick one? I’d have to say doggie. I just love getting slammed from behind while getting my ass smacked.
Questions & Answers:

HUSTLER: The bigger the better?

SHYLA: Ha ha ha…I’m no size queen. It all depends on how it’s used. But there IS such a thing as too big.

HUSTLER: What your New Year’s resolution?

SHYLA: Eat less, work out more and have as much sex as possible!

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Feeling a bit better this evening. Probably because of two things. One, I’m sober. Even though I was extremely tempted I bypassed the bar tonight and came home from the day job to spend time with the old website development. The second, I’ve got a evening out with a hot but mature woman setup for tomorrow so odds are I’ll be doing one of my favorite things, squirting man milk all over her wedding rings.

Don’t typically do the mature chicks, although if she had kids I’d probably class her as a MILF rather than mature but either way her age puts her a little outside of my normal demographics. My preference is late twenties to mid thirties and she’s probably somewhere in the mid forty range. But she is hot or at least cute or maybe just willing. Sometimes its hard to tell, especially when I’ve been depressed like I’ve been. Usually getting laid is kind of like second nature but with this fucking depression it’s been really hard to get myself into that charming Libra personality.

Besides I’ve probably gained about 50 lbs while I’ve been in this funk. This spilling your guts shit on the world wide web when you know no one is listening, cause no one visits this place much yet, does seem to be having a very positive affect. I posted on my other blog this moring (its pure adult) and I am enjoying doing this tonight. Now if I can loose the beer and bread fat, get the waist back down and get a little excercise I may just kick this shit.

But enough, I doubt I’ll post tomorrow evening, I should be much too busy getting busy but I should bore you with all the nasty little details on Wednesday. Until then, I should post a picture of one of the hot fucking Hustler bitchs for you to enjoy as you and Rosie palm get busy.

Shyra Sheer | Open My Box

Real estate appraiser and porn star isn’t a combination you see very often, but we’ve found a 21-year-old hottie pursuing those two divergent careers. “I treat both occupations professionally,” Shyra says. “I want to give all I have and do the best work possible. The real estate gig is a family business owned and run by my mom and dad that always provides a steady paycheck.” How did such a seemingly straitlaced gal get into the adult biz? “Ever since I was 15,” Shyra explains, “I’ve been doing lingerie and swimsuit modeling, and when I turned 18, I started doing topless. At 19 I had a chance to go nude, and I thought, Why not? The offer to do a porn flick followed soon after. I figured I might as well try it. I’m one of those people who believe you have to try everything at least once in order to have an opinion about it.” Does Shyra’s family know that she moonlights as a XXX actress? “They do,” the curvy Coloradoan confides. “Everyone’s pretty cool about it, although my parents don’t like to talk about it.” But their lovely daughter is eager to talk about her sex life. “I like girls,” she coos, “but I love guys! When I date, I need a guy who is totally open, and there is nothing sexier than bringing in other people. When I’m alone with a guy, I love being done doggy. Like most girls I know, it’s my favorite position too!” Not surprisingly, the breathtaking blonde is also rambunctious. “I think the craziest thing I’ve ever done was having sex in a dressing room of a retail store while I was working,” Shyra recalls. “It was okay, though, because I was on a break at the time.” Besides getting down and dirty in front of the camera or with a lover, this dreamgirl has another outlet for shaking her pretty ass. “I am a professional dancer,” Shyra proclaims, “not a stripper! I direct the cheer squad for the Denver Titans [her hometown’s semipro football team], and I used to be the dance captain of the Colorado Crest too. I really love dancing.” When not selling houses, doing a bang-up job in hard-core flicks or waving pom-poms, Shyra opts for low-key escapes. “I love spending time with my family and friends,” she says, “just chilling. Barbecues, picnics and house parties are the best.” How does Shyra feel about gracing the front cover and centerfold of our latest Holiday Issue? “I think it’s just perfect!” she exclaims. “I love the holidays. They are easily my favorite time of the year. You get nice gifts, and being a HUSTLER covergirl is the second-greatest gift I’ve ever received.” Second best?! “Okay,” Shyra relents. “Being on the cover of HUSTLER is the number one best gift!” What does our holiday treat want for Christmas this year? “I would like to see my sister,” Shyra says. “She is my heart and my soul. I would love to be closer to her. So the best gift would be for me to be able to move my sister and her son nearer to me.”

Statistics:
Hair: Blonde, Eyes: Blue, Bust: 34D, Waist:24, Hips: 36, Height: 5′5”, Weight: 120

Biography:
Birthplace: Denver, Colorado
Age: 22
Favorite Movie: Anything with Muppets! For some reason I love those silly things.
Favorite Song: I’ve been listneing to My Chemical Romance’s "Black Parade" constantly since I got it.
Favorite Food: I absolutely loooooove desserts. I’d rather just skip out on dinner altogether. My favorite’s applie pie a la mode.
Likes: I’m such a girl! I like the typical things: shopping, going tanning, gossiping about sex and boys!
Dislikes: I really hate arrogant jerks! My most recent ex-boyfriend is one.
Ambitions: I want to do so much in porn, but I really admire Jenna Jameson. I plan on having an empire like her’s one day.
Best Place to Fuck: Next to a fireplace. There’s something about the crackling wood and added heat that just makes me want to fuck all night.
Best Sex: Anytime I’m pissed off. ESPECIALLY right after a fight with a boyfriend. It’s almost aggressive and animalistic.
Favorite Position: It depends on my mood, but lately I’ve been a big fan of cowgirl. I like being in control these days.
Questions & Answers:

HUSTLER: Since you’re our Holiday centerfold, any special insights into the Holiday season?

SHYRA: If you’re in a relationship, make sure you get your girlfriend something! Even if she says she doesn’t want anything, don’t believe her. Trust me. And make sure to call your mom.

HUSTLER: Have you been naughty this year?

SHYRA: I don’t know if I’ve been naughty or nice. I’m going to have to let Santa decide for himself on Christmas eve. And if he says I’m naughty, I’m just going to have to show him why.

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So its been a fucking while since I posted anything. I’d like to say it’s because I’ve been way to busy doing shit, building more websites, making a bunch more coin. That fucking what I wish I could say. Truth is I’ve been, and still am, a bit depressed with life and as such it’s a fucking measerable experience trying to be the upbeat, all in control Walrus. The thing is, I’m not so fucking sure I understand what the fuck has got me in this funk and if I don’t understand what is causing the funk how can I get out of it.

I’ve kind of exiled myself. Cut myself off from most of the people I know and about the only fucking time I feel like myself I’ve got to be drunk and now I’m tired of being drunk. It’s easy to stop, I’m no where near an alcoholic but I’ve also become more than a social drinker. Or maybe it’s best explained as the only time I seem to be interested in being social is when I’m drinking.

I don’t know, I never planned on this being a spill my guts to the world kind of blog but if it is to be a reflection of it’s name sake then I’ve got to post the bad with the good….I think. How can I ever expect you fuckers to take my rants seriously if I don’t give all of myself, good and bad.

I’m not sure what I have to be depressed about. I’m highly respected in two fields, the one I pay my bills with and the one I’ve chosen on-line. It just seems that I’m walking through life…actually just watching life go by…instead of spending my days living it and its been going on so long that I don’t remember when it started but I have to find a way to make it end.

Enough pissing and moaning, I’ll check in tomorrow and post any revelations. In the meantime, enjoy this sexy bitch.

Yenni is a pool shark
Yennie Hoang
University of Maryland
SPECS:
AGE: 23
HAIR COLOR: Brown
HEIGHT: 5ft 5in
WEIGHT: 117 lb
BREASTS: 34B
MEASUREMENTS: 34B-26-34
Playboy’s Student Bodies

Yennie is a pool shark that likes surfing the internet. Yennie says she is a big nerd that loves eating chocolate, cheese and candy. To learn more about Yennie check out her interview in the members area. Learn more about Yennie at Playboy’s Student Bodies

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It’s a sad day as I awoke to learn that George Carlin is dead. While I know every fucking blog, every fucking news site and every fucking person who can write will lament on the passing of this american idol, I still fucking have to do it. He was just that great. Although greatness isn’t probably the right word, he was the funniest mother fucker to ever fucking stand on a stage and entertain people.

I can still remember those seven words which even today can not be said on TV, Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker and Tits! He had first fucking did this skit in the good ole mid-west, Milwaukee, where he was fucking promptly arrested for disturbing the peace. What the fuck, did people laugh so loud the fucking neighbors complained. Eventually, when it went to court a judge with a little fucking sense through the charges out stating the obvious, how was the fucking peace disturbed.

But I’m guessing that you’ve probably already read most of this stuff, except, perhaps what those magic seven words were. I just needed to say good-bye to an icon. Good-bye George, perhaps now some people will laugh with you but also understand that they are actually laughing at the sadness that our society has become.

McKenzie Lee- Nude for the Post

McKenzie | Hustler Babe

Statistics:
Hair: Brown, Eyes: Brown, Bust: 32D, Waist: 24, Hips: 32, Height: 5′4”, Weight: 105

Biography:
Birthplace: Leicester, England
Age: 27

Favorite Movie: The Lion In Winter". Peter O’Toole’s performance as King Henry the II is one of the most memorable in modern cinema.

Favorite Song: This is hard! There’s so many to choose from. As of late, I’ve been listening to Gnarls Barkley’s "Crazy" almost constantly.

Favorite Food: You Americans may find this disgusting, but baked beans on toast.

Likes: I LOVE fast food! It’s my achilles heel. McDonald’s, Burger King, Taco Bell, you name it. If there’s a drive-thru, chances are I’ve been there at least once.

Dislikes: Exercising. I know I need to work-out because of all the junk food I eat, but it’s so hard to get motivated and drag myself to the gym.

Ambitions: My future goal is to keep pleasing my fans by doing rocking sex scenes, and obviously to make Jenna as proud as I possibly can.

Best Place to Fuck: Have you used one of those Liberator things yet? Oh. My. God. The position you can achieve and the things you can do on that is amazing.

Best Sex: I’d have to say the best sex I’ve ever had is with my now-fiance. We’re just so good together that everytime we fuck it’s amazing.

Favorite Position: I absolutely adore reverse cow-girl. Not only does it allow me to control the action, but my partner gets a great view.

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After yesterday’s post, I actually got a little fucking curious about animal fucking and animal fuckers in general. I had always figured that it was all fucking fun and games type of shit, I never really figured sheepherder Bob kept himself warm at night in the hooves of his favorite sheep. How fucking naive I was. It does seem that some people get fucking excited by the swish of an animals tail. According to the old reliable, know anything you ever wanted to fucking know, Wiki, this is called zoophilia, the emotional and (optionally) sexual attraction of humans to animals. The human animal fuckers or fuckee’s are fucking known as zoophiles. It also seems that zoophilia has been around as long as man and beast.

This is a picture of a painting titled Leda and the Swan. Seems Leda and her fucking man swan must have been somewhat of the talk of the fucking town as even the most famous artists of the time painted their renditions of Leda and her loving fucking swan. This is a picture of a copy of the lost original painted by Leonardo, you know as in Leonardo Da Vinci. It seems that Michaelangelo also painted this fucking couple as well and fucking ironically his fucking painting was lost too. Not typically being a conspiracy theorist, one has to wonder if this is some form of early censorship. Especially when the study of Leda’s head, painted also by Leonardo, still exists as the horny fucking swan is left out.

But we have some fucking examples of animal love even in today’s society. Seems a few years back a man was dropped off at the hospital and later died. The police in investigating found that he had been visiting a farm of ill repute. Yep, you read that right, a fucking farm where you could pay the farmer to have sex with his animals. Seems the dude who fucking died had wanted to have a fucking horse ass fuck him. The horse was happy to oblige and literally ripped the guy a new asshole. Since, at the time, bestiality was legal in the state no charges were filed. But the police did find smaller, more helpless animals such as chickens, goats and sheep on the property and they are looking into whether animal cruelty — which is a crime — was committed by having sex with these smaller, weaker animals.

It also seems that there are zoophiles who are also into necrophilia. Yep, you read that right, fucking dead animals is a turn on for some sick fucks. It would seem some poor fucker was caught fucking a dead deer on the side of the road and is spending some jail time. Can you fucking imagine what this dumb fucker tells his cell mate when asked why he’s in prison? I saw this really sweet deer with the sexiest fucking tail, just lying there and I had to fuck her. Really, I didn’t know she was fucking dead at the time.

I also want to start a new feature here. Since my liberal use of the F-word and other such obscenities seems to offend a few people, I decided it must be time to offend a few more. With each post, at the end, I’m going to include a Walrus selected Nude for the post. Since this one was so fucking off the hook, I’m not sure that it would be considered an honor to be selected the first nude but I now present:

Valentina Vaughn - Nude for the Post

Valentina Vaughn | Around the Benz

This olive-skinned goddess isn’t really sure what she wants out of life. “I moved from Philadelphia to pursue a full-time career in modeling,” Valentina says. “Back there I worked as an exotic dancer, which was cool, but being nude in HUSTLER seems so much cooler.” So does that mean our latest centerfold has left her G-string behind? “Not necessarily,” she replies. “I still go to Vegas to dance on some weekends. Looking ahead, the brown-eyed beauty is open to opportunities. “I don’t know what I’ll do in the future,” Valentina murmurs. “Maybe continue nude modeling, maybe go back to dancing. The thing is, I’m really okay with not knowing.”

Click for this photo gallery

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As a fucking adult webmaster it can sometimes seem like the whole world is fucking against you. Especially since the good "ole" boy turned fucking religious reicht zealot and decided to increase the FBI’s role in tracking down us fucking porn slingers. At least right now I think I’m fucking immune since I don’t fucking make any of this shit, I just sell it.

For some unknown fucking reason, you the general public… or at least the religious side of the general fucking public, seem to think us porn slingers love to nothing else than take pictures of underage girls. That’s about as fucking far from the truth as you can get but I’m slipping off of the fucking topic at hand.

Now where the fuck was I. Anyway this post initial intent was to talk about an obscenity case and the judge presiding over it. The case is about some sick twisted fetish dude who is facing some obscenity charges right here in the porn capital of America. So you got to know that it’s some twisted shit and I do mean that literally as his fucking films feature bestiality and defecation. The dude is Ira Isaacs and if your fucking interested in the article, here is a link to the fucking LA Times article.

That’s the obscenity case. It’s the judge who makes it interesting. Alex Kozinski, the 9th Circuit chief judge had himself a little website and on this little website he had pictures of, among others (or so I’m told, the site was taken down before the URL was made public) a woman on her hands and knees painted like a cow. Now this begs the question…was she a fat heffer? Seriously, did they do this to a fucking BBW or did they pick a normal sized gal to play the part of the painted cow. I’ve got to admit…I’m not offended either way. Unlike the judge, I also don’t quite find the humor in it either.

He also, allegedly, had a video of "a half-dressed man cavorting with a sexually aroused farm animal". Now I’m no farmer, but then again neither is the reporter for the LA Times, but how do you tell if a farm animal is sexually aroused. I mean are we fucking talking about a dude giving a hand job to a horse or a bull. There are fucking legit reasons to do this. Was a fucking sheep sitting on a fence all made up and in a sexy little teddy?

In both cases without the fucking picture / video it’s pretty difficult to say if this is obscene or if it is just fucking funny and in that lies the problem in the obscenity case. See if it’s fucking funny then it’s covered under free speech and if it has absolutely no redeeming value it is considered obscene. Like the picture I described no someone may find that funny as fuck, personally I don’t but since I’m not offended by it I don’t consider it obscene. In fact, if anyone enjoys watching something doesn’t that something then have a redeeming value. I may not like it much as I can assure you that I don’t enjoy old Ira’s brand of porn but the fucking constitiution doesn’t say "freedom for the Walrus" it says "freedom for all" and as such if I were so inclined to watch sick fucking shit like a man fucking a sheep, I should fucking be allowed and if I want to film that and sell the film to others who enjoy watching a man get ass fucked by a pidgeon then I should fucking be allowed to do so.

I once saw a video of a chick giving a horse a blow job. I thought it was pretty fucking sick until the horse ejaculated with such strength that it threw the chick for about 5 feet. Then it became funny.

Damn did this fucking post lose it’s initial target. I do get lost sometimes in my ramblings.

Tags: Ramblings by Walrus
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It really is fucking nice to be blogging again. A little uncomfortable as the fucking shit just isn’t flowing from my finger tips like it used to but I’m sure that it’s just I’m a bit out of fucking practice. In other fucking words The Walrus has lost his voice but just like a dude with laryngitis’s needs his fucking medicince, I’m sure a few more posts and enough fucking Jack Daniels will have me back to in no time. Probably it’s just finding combination of JD and indignation to set me off. But still it’s nice to be back.

Since what I do mostly is porn, it’s pretty unusual to give another blog a little praise. See I’m in fucking competition for your fucking credit card with these other fuckers so why would I want to send you off to spend that cold hard cash on the porn they’re peddling rather than doing it so I make a little of the fucking coin. But this is an exception, a redneck porn blog that not only fucking tries to get you to purchase some porn but also a dude who likes to wonder around his fucking home town, snapping pictures of all the redneck hilarity. My personal favorite is a post he did advertising pig eggs for sale. Some classic redneck shit right there. There are some other great posts too but I just love having pig eggs for breakfast!

Tags: Ramblings by Walrus
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If you’ve ever fucking been surfing the web, I fucking know you’ve ran across the multitude of torrent sites that are out there. Great fucking places right? You can fucking download almost any fucking thing your heart desires and maybe you haven’t noticed but the only fucking thing you have to give up is your computer.

The shit you download from these fucking places not only have been fucking stolen but they’ve also been so infected with spyware / adware / trojans / god only knows what other kind of shit that you basicly turn over your computer to the hackers who have stolen the good from someone else. Personally, I’ve always found it much to steep a price to pay. I’d much rather have my computer operating at it’s maximum capacity than have all that crap bogging it down.

Not to mention the possibility of having my credit card info stolen or my keystrokes logged or god only knows what other information they can gather while I search the internet.

Well, you fucking freebie hunters, your days seem to be numbered as the MPAA (movie pictures etc etc) seems to be having some very nice success shutting these fucking theives down due to copyright infringements. Seems the courts are siding with the movie people and laying down some steep fines according to this fucking article in ARS Technica. It seems at least two of the fucking freebie loving fucking thieving sites ShowStash.net and Cinematube.net are now 4 million dollars poorer. Why, because they profit by stealing the fucking work of others!

These are some of the smaller ones, easy wins for the MPAA to set precident with. You can be sure that the big fucking theives won’t be far behind.

Personally, I applaud this. Torrent and / or tube site are simply stealing from people who work hard for a fucking living. By giving away the product others work hard to develop they devalue that product. In other words, they take the food out of the mouth of the baby I don’t have, but many fucking others do.

Porn has become a very hard sell ( in case you didn’t know, thats what the fuck I do) and I mostly blame torrent sites for the easy availability. Oh and you stupid fuckers who don’t fucking realize your cripling your fucking computer by downloading this crap…oh ya, and then you blame porn for all your problems. Stupid mother fuckers

Tags: Ramblings by Walrus
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