Chasing the Walrus

I’ve already got way too many posts about how I’ve been a really bad boy and not posting to my blog the way I should so I’m not going to bother writing another fucking one.  Instead I’ll just fucking jump from this vantage point into today’s rant… fucking wannabe pimps.

Read enough of my stuff and some fucking thing that become clear, I sling porn and I have absolutely no problem telling anyone that is what I fucking do.  But that does not make me a fucking pimp.  It makes me an internet fucking marketing dude who happens to advertise companies that develop and sell memberships to pornographic sites.

Unfortunately, not all of the other assholes who do this kind of shit think the way I do.  It seems a large number of them like to think they are fucking pimps.  I mean they’ve got their fucking pimp avatars, some of the ones I’ve met actually dress ghetto even though they are so white bread it ain’t even funny.

You hear them talking about their wives, who obviously have them pussy whipped just like every other fucking dude, and they talk about having a fucking weak pimp hand and shit.

Let me give you fuckers a clue… If your bitch isn’t out fucking working at a strip club or walking the streets and then coming home and handing you every fucking penny she just fucking earned then you ain’t no mother fucking pimp.

I guess what I’m fucking trying to say is that these bozo’s aren’t selling tits and ass, which is what would make them a pimp, but are selling pictures of tits and ass which makes them nothing more than a marketing person.

Besides, from what I’ve seen, there are really very few bitches out there I’d want to pimp for.  I’m no fucking virgin, I’ve paid for pussy before and I’m sure I’ll pay for pussy again if I ever see any worth paying for.

One of the nice things about growing older is your much more patient and picky about what you stick your dick into, at least I am, and I can honestly say that the hookers I have stuck my cock in only one of them would I ever do again and she’s in Spain so the odds of me doing her again are pretty slim.

I remember one time I was stuck in a Courtyard out in the fucking middle of almost nowhere.  Not a fucking bar within walking distance and there were no cabs in the town and I won’t drink and drive.  One DUI taught me my lesson.  Any fucking way, I was horny as a mother fucker and no pussy in site.  So I called an escort service.

The dispatcher asked if I had any preferences.  I told her my only one was I wanted a chick with big boobs..  Big mistake as the chick they sent over must have been 5 foot tall and weighed 150 pounds.  She had big tits, that’s for sure but she had a fucking ass that was so fucking wide that she had to wear a fucking sign across it “WIDE LOAD” just like the trucks on the freeway.

Now there is no way in hell this slut is going to be able to get my dick hard.  WTF am I to do?  I’m hornier than a fucking jack rabbit and the only thing I’ve got to fuck is so fucking big I’d have to tie a board around my ass so that I didn’t fall in the god damn hole..

I ended up giving the slut $300.00 to let me sit on her face and jack off while she sucked on my balls.  Only thing I could think of.  Getting your balls sucked and licked always feels good and I didn’t have to look at her, I could fantasize that there was actually a cute chick sucking my balls and licking the crack of my ass and I did pull my balls out of her mouth so that I could cover her big fat titties with a big helping of my man milk but even that was somehow unsatisfying. 

Shit, reading that I guess I have been a fucking pimp cause I have had a couple girlfriends who did just that.  Worked at the strip clubs doing lap dances and a few select hand jobs and coming home, handing me all their fucking money and sucking on my cock till I was ready to fuck their brains out.  BUT… I never had a stable.  I never had multiple bitches doing that.

Now for a confession,,, I wrote this a month ago and am just now getting around to posting it.

Today’s babe of the post is a hot chick I saw while visiting MC Nudes. Her name Veronica DaSouza and I’m just totally in lust dreaming about having those full, puffy lips wrapped around my cock. The rest of her isn’t bad either. Enjoy

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I debated long and fucking hard deciding if I was going to join in the Tiger bandwagon and ultimately I pretty much decided that a voice of reason needed to be fucking added to this circus as there seems to not be any. I’m fucking tired of every fucking news service in the world, and even the sports news services, having turned into nothing more than gossip rags. Shit, isn’t there enough news in the world for them to focus on. I mean here in the good ole US of A the government is getting ready to turn health care on its head, we have record debt and a president who believes he needs to fucking spend his way out of the recession and for some reason we need to spend time on every fucking show talking about a golfer.

Shit even Fox News can’t have a program on where Tiger is not one of the topics. Who fucking cares, the guy is human and rich. What that means if he can get any piece of pussy in the world he wants, period. Ya, he cheated on his wife. Millions of men cheat on their wives every fucking day. Most get caught at some point or another and there is a very ugly, very emotional time once they are caught. It’s life. What makes the fact that Tiger did it news worthy? Because he’s the best at what he does? Many CEO’s of companies cheat with pornstarts, strippers and the likes. Because he does commercials? Come on, do you really believe any of these fuckers who hawk products on TV actually even believe in them. Tiger drives a Cadillac. What would he be driving if he was pushing hummers? Does his opinion matter any more than anyone elses because he is the best golfer in the world today? I don’t think so.

We’ve become a country more obsessed with who is fucking whom rather than what is actually going on in the world that affects our daily life and will affect the daily lives of our children. Eventually, this whole Tiger Woods thing will be fucking forgotten, like in the next month, and he will resume playing golf. The deficiets our government is running up will last years and our children will probably be paying that debt off for a very long time. Health care is being affected. Talk about long term effects and guess what, nobody is really fucking talking about it. They’d rather worry about who some fucking golfer was sticking their cock into.

For those that are curious, I’ll peak your interest here with a couple videos. The first is from Naughty America Live where Holly Sampson talks about Tiger Woods.

Now to climb on my soap box a little and torture you all with a little bit of fucking Walrus wisdom, as if the shit I’ve already written isn’t fucking worth its weight in fucking gold.

Cheating is fucking normal. I dont give a fuck who you are. The reason it’s normal, at least from the Walrus’s perspective, is two fold. The secondary reason is it is just fucking boring fucking the same person. Besides if you’ve been married for over a year or so there isn’t that much fucking going on. When I was married I could usually count on getting some pussy on New Years day, Valentines day, my birthday and Xmas eve. A few little pieces would be thrown in now and then but if I was getting it more than 6 times a year I’ve fucking be surprised and that simply is not enough pussy for a growing boy.

But fuck, when you’ve got work, two kids and a wife that works your week days are filled with doing the 9-5 thing and the weekends filled with doing kids shit. Eventually your simply going to look for a little strange to break the monotony. Once you experience that excitement, it’s fucking hard to fall back into a fucking daily routine. Which is why you always fucking get caught.

Second, and for me the most important, is that you simply like treating sluts like sluts. Where as you love you wife and really don’t want to be be your cock hungry slut. I mean I love grabbing the back of a chicks head and shoving my cock down her throat. But not with the princess I love. I like bending her over and fucking the shit out of a sluts tight asshole and then making her clean the cum and shit off my cock when I’m finished. But not to my princess. I like all the BDSM shit and sharing a slut with my buddy. But not the one I love. I think you get the drift. It’s impossible to do all the things you love to do, the things you crave to do with the person you love.

But women dont get hung up on that. Sex can be just that pure animalistic release of ones needs. No emotions attached. Where when I’m with the woman I love, it is no longer sex it is making love. Tender, loving, caring putting your needs and wants before my own. With a slut, fuck her needs she’s a fucking slut, I’m out for what I want, for what my cock is craving and she is nothing more than the fucking vessel for accomplishing what I need.

The interesting thing about pornstars / strippers are they have this fantastic talent to make you feel like your really fucking special. They use this talent to milk every last penny from your wallet and you fall for it. Once your a mark, your always a mark. Even if you are "one of the lucky ones’ who get to fuck them. The lucky ones, those with the largest amount of cash consistently. Not just at the strip club. Ones they can count on for cash anytime they need it. Ones that become "obsessors". Unfortunately, Tiger never learned about those and perhaps that is what makes him the most just like most of you fuckers. He got sucked into believing that what he was experiencing was real, not fantasy. When you learn that your completely wrong about this kind of shit it is totally devastating. But let me assure each and every one of you guys, these chicks don’t care to bits about you. They care about your wallet and you know what… most of them are bringing every fucking penny they take from you home to a guy like me and I thank you for all the cash you’ve donated to my favorite charity, me, over the years. I didn’t get any of Tigers money since I’ve moved on from running strippers / pornstars but I can assure you that some of you reading this have.

With all this fucking porn going on, I almost fucking forgot about the babe of the post. Maybe it was the fact that I’d already seen massive hooters and chicks with soft body curves but I selected a pic from one of my favorite Italian slut teen. She’s got a hot tight little body and the face of an angel. I pretty much never tire of looking at her playful ass and I personally believe if you give it a shot, you won’t either. So without another word being typed from my finger tips, I bring you Ivy Black.

Dude, you been reading my shit for awhile now. How about leaving a fucking comment and letting me fucking know how you feel about the shit I write or possibly Share Chasing The Walrus with Twitter

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A few posts ago… ok fuck it… almost two fucking months ago I posted a link to a fucking story about some dumb bitch taking a power saw and trying to turn it into a dildo. The only fucking problem the dumb ass and her boyfriend who was obviously just as stupid didn’t think about what the blade might do to human tissue and when the dildo that was attached to the blade slipped, well lets just say the dumb bitch now has the sloppiest pussy in town.

Don’t get me wrong, I do get into some of the "fucking machine" porn that floats around the internet. Shit like this is pretty cool

But like all the fucking shows that hand some dangerous shit going on in them, this is not the type of stuff one should try at home. These are professionals who have designed machines that are awesome and powerful but also safety has been considered as well.

Not everyone gets that and in Arndale Ok, another chick decided she had a brilliant idea for a new sex machine even more powerful than described above. Seems this slut was recently divorced which, by some odd bit of reasoning, seems to have increased her fucking sex drive. According to a neighbor

A neighbor who declined to be identified said, “She was a horny lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time.”

Now either

this slut moans really fucking loud or these people were fucking perverts and listening really fucking close. In fact, the police had questioned her three time about running an illegal prostitution ring from her house. Oh she was also into sex toys and was selling them. WTF either of these things has to do with my fucking story, I have no fucking idea.

Back to the original premise of the issue. It seems this bitch tried to use a jack hammer as a dildo. But the circumstances are even more bizarre than just a woman and a jack hammer. It seems she was standing in her driveway naked while attempting such a sexual manuvere. One of the neighbors happened to notice her in the driveway with the jack hammer but didn’t bother to call the police until she heard unnatural screams coming from her.

Now I’m all for live and let live but if these fucking neighbors were nosey enough to hear her moaning and to have called the fucking cops on three occasions in a month about an illegal prostitution ring, it does seem a bit fucking strange to me that they would wait, while she was standing in the driveway, naked with a jack hammer to wait for her to be screaming before actually calling the local authorities. Ok, I’m being nice there,,, the fucking cops.

The other fucking thing that really makes one wonder is that initially the cops suspected foul play. A bitch has a jack hammer stuck up her twat, in the middle of her fucking driveway and you suspect foul play. I still haven’t gotten my fucking head around how the chick could operate the jack hammer, upside down, to get it hammering away. Below is a pic of a jack hammer. Not sure how the thing is fucking turned on but if you’ve got the jack part stuck up your coochie, how the fuck do you operate the fucking hammer part with your feet. Especially while standing up. Besides, I would think that it would work perfectly fine with out sticking the dangerous part in your twat. Much like a washing machine… ladies I know you know what I’m talking about but if you need a hint, think spin cycle.

Anyway, the whole fucking story makes absolutely no sense at all. Whether it was accidental or not. There has to be more than being published but you can read the shortened version here

Today’s babe of the post is a hot fucking blonde babe in the midst of unzipping her pants. This comes by way of The Blog Erotica, a post titled Blonde Desires

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I’m sure you’ve been following with complete fucking interest the bull shit surrounding Carrie Prejean, Miss California as of late. A chick hot enough to be Miss California doing topless photo’s, oh ya, I’m all over the internet looking for that shit, just to post if fucking here. Unfortunately, untouched photo’s don’t appear to fucking be out. The best I could find was these on TMZ.

Love those fucking stars. But that’s not the point of the post. The point of this fucking post is all the bull shit that seems to be surrounding this ordeal. Which, by the way, I don’t see why anyone even fucking cares.

First, Carrie, why the fuck did you lie and say you were only 17. Ain’t no photographer going to fucking take topless pic’s of a 17 year old. He’d be heading to jail had he released those pictures if you were only 17 as that would make it child pornography. So I don’t buy the I was young and stupid bull shit.

Your a model and as a young model you are talked into doing things that as an established model you may not do. But you’ve got to get your foot in the door and the only fucking way to do that is to have your body in front of a camera. Bad decision, obviously since I sling porn pictures of hot chicks, I don’t think so. Your hot, I’d like to see much more (which is part of the reason I spent the morning looking for a picture of your tits) but as a Christian conservative I understand that it is potentially embarrassing for you.

Although it would be more embarrassing for you if it was a lesbian shoot but that’s a personal fantasy and not a statement of what might have been.

But those are attacking you, they are even full of more bull shit. Like you can’t be a Christian and show your titties. WTF are they thinking. Didn’t fucking god make that fucking hot as body you’ve got and in a way, as you show it off aren’t you in fact worshiping your lord by exposing one of his miracles.

I’ve never understood why looking at a hot chick would be immoral. Seriously, if your religious, didn’t the dude you worship make that and therefore by hiding it aren’t you hiding a wondrous creation by the lord you love.

Damn got sidetracked again. Back on track…

I understand that you lefties are looking at this as a chance to disgrace yet another conservative Christian but get real. Just because she is against same sex marriage is not a reason to panic. I doubt that she will ever be an elected official. Her opinion is her opinion.

But I must admit that the way the pictures have been leaked definitely stinks as someone trying to draw this out for the most publicity possible. The question is why. Are they doing it to continue to sell magazines or are they doing it to continue to cause her embarrassment. Either way it’s bull shit. Luckily the Donald saw it for what it was too.

I was going to post some stuff of Megan Fox and Transformers but judging by my word count, I’ve fucking bored the shit out of you already. So I guess I’ll get to the babe of the day. This comes by way of Nude Erotic post called blue on blue

Dude, you been reading my shit for awhile now. How about leaving a fucking comment and letting me fucking know how you feel about the shit I write or possibly Share Chasing The Walrus with Twitter

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Before I get too involved with today’s subject I wanted to address a few issues that arose out of my last post. HCB, hardcore blogger, tried to take a stab at retribution with his latest post. It was so lame, I’m not going to spend very much of my fucking precious time responding. As long as the dude thinks a chick is screaming with pleasure having her ass hole stretched out, he’s pretty much a lost cause. Feel free to drop by and let the dude know 12″ cocks that you can’t wrap your hand around is fake 9 out of 10 times. Even in the porn world.

The Porn Enchantress thinks I’m being fucking bitchy. Here I compliment her in the previous post and she thinks I’m bitchy. I’ll get back to that later as I fucking really don’t want to loose the train of thought I have for this post. As we all fucking know, my train gets derailed enough without any additional assistance.

Back to the topic at hand, chicks with an edge. Honestly, I’ve never really paid them much fucking attention but I happened to be doing a bit of channel surfing the other night and I ran across American Idol. Something about the punker chick on the show got my interest. It wasn’t that she was hot, in fact, I didn’t really even find her very attractive but still somehow I found her sexy.

Bad Wolf, one of my partners in crime here at the fucking cabal has been into goth / punk chicks for a long time. I kind of now see the attraction, especially since I got hot fucking pics like the one above from Crazy Babe.

I gotta fucking admit, I love the pussy tat…what let me fucking phrase that just a little fucking differently. I love the tattoo of the leopard this chick has just above her pussy. Although Tweety birds, I taught i taw a putty tat does come to mind. Anyway, this chick is hot and definitely has an edge about her. I think, know I absolutely am positive I’m in lust. I want to shove my cock down the throat of that little pussy cat.

Now to today’s babe of the post…Sunny Leone. Talk about fuckable!

Dude, you been reading my shit for awhile now. How about leaving a fucking comment and letting me fucking know how you feel about the shit I write or possibly Share Chasing The Walrus with Twitter

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