Chasing the Walrus

I don’t fucking know how many of you fuckers use yahoo. It’s my start page when my browser opens. Not really fucking sure why since I use google for my searches. Probably for the sports. See I fucking watch so much fucking ESPN that having it as my startup page, home page, whatever the fuck they call it would seem redundant. But fuck, your saying, get to the god damn point.

Ok, the point is, lately Yahoo has been having a bunch of touchy feely womans crap on the front page. You know shit like how can you tell if your husband / boyfriend is cheating. Today, which is what started this little diatribe it was 10 things husbands should never do. My question is who the fuck puts these kind of things together for dudes. If no one else is going to fucking do it… The Walrus will. So, with out further ado or serious thought my list of 10 things a fucking woman shouldn’t ever do.

1. Interrupt the fucking ball game.
   Unless there is a fucking fire or some other life threatening emergency, whatever you have to say can wait until the commercial. Yes, I think your important and believe it or not you actually do mean more to me than my stinking game. Just not this very moment. The only time, other than something life threatening, that it is acceptable to interrupt the game is if it’s because you want to unzip my pants and swallow my cock for awhile.
2. I know you had a rough day doing whatever it is you do and yes I do care. But understand I just had a shitty day too and I really don’t want to talk about it. You can talk at me all you want but don’t stop and check for listening comprehension because the fucking odds are I checked out of the conversation. You get your chance to rant and this way you don’t have to fucking bitch about how much I don’t care about you.
3. Men burp and fart
   That’s right, that’s what we do. No I won’t get my lazy ass up and go into the bathroom.
4. Farts are funny
   That’s right it’s funny as fuck to fart under the blanket and then throw it over your head. Its also funny to fart right in front of that old witch in the check out line and watch her make faces or to drop one in the elevator as your stepping out knowing that those going in are in for a rough ride…. and it is especially funny to rip a really fucking loud one in public and turn to you and say "Honey, how could you".
5. No honey do lists
   You know those little fucking things around the house that need a little attention. Don’t fucking make me a list and understand that since I’m the one who has to do the fucking chore, I’m the one who applies the importance of it. I will take care of it when it reaches the proper level of importance. Until then it’sjust a little nuisance that one has to live with in their lives.
6. No back seat driving
   Believe it or not, I do have a valid drivers license and I know exactly how fast I’m going and where that car is. You reminding me doesn’t help any.
7. I’m not lost
   That’s right, I am not lost and I am not going to pull over and ask for directions. I might have made a wrong turn which now has me a little confused but listening to you tell me how I need to pull over and get directions doesn’t help the situation. Guess what, if I really can’t figure it out, I will get directions.
8. I never try on cloths. Ever. I know what size I wear as I’ve been wearing that size for years. Unlike you, I don’t have an issue with fucking bulging and purging. If I fuck up don’t get pissed if I ask if you return it for me. I’d do it myself but I’m busy.
9. Do you want the truth of do you want me to lie and how the fuck am I supposed to know when the right time is for what. If you ask how you look in a certain dress or how your new hair cut looks don’t cry, get pissed or angry when I tell you the truth. Or if I do tell you that it looks nice, don’t get pissed at me when someone else tells you how horrible it looks. It’s a fucking lose / lose situation for me so I’d rather not be asked but if I am, I will tell you the truth.
10. No, I really don’t know what the fuck I did that pissed you off. If I did, I would either have not done it or would have already apoligized for having done it. You’ve got to tell me what I did. If I was insensative or just simply being me, I can’t do a fucking thing about it if I don’t fucking know.

Ok, babe of the post time. I think it was the nude chick in nature, the natural look. Anyway, enjoy!

Dude, you been reading my shit for awhile now. How about leaving a fucking comment and letting me fucking know how you feel about the shit I write or possibly Share Chasing The Walrus with Twitter

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I’ve already got way too many posts about how I’ve been a really bad boy and not posting to my blog the way I should so I’m not going to bother writing another fucking one.  Instead I’ll just fucking jump from this vantage point into today’s rant… fucking wannabe pimps.

Read enough of my stuff and some fucking thing that become clear, I sling porn and I have absolutely no problem telling anyone that is what I fucking do.  But that does not make me a fucking pimp.  It makes me an internet fucking marketing dude who happens to advertise companies that develop and sell memberships to pornographic sites.

Unfortunately, not all of the other assholes who do this kind of shit think the way I do.  It seems a large number of them like to think they are fucking pimps.  I mean they’ve got their fucking pimp avatars, some of the ones I’ve met actually dress ghetto even though they are so white bread it ain’t even funny.

You hear them talking about their wives, who obviously have them pussy whipped just like every other fucking dude, and they talk about having a fucking weak pimp hand and shit.

Let me give you fuckers a clue… If your bitch isn’t out fucking working at a strip club or walking the streets and then coming home and handing you every fucking penny she just fucking earned then you ain’t no mother fucking pimp.

I guess what I’m fucking trying to say is that these bozo’s aren’t selling tits and ass, which is what would make them a pimp, but are selling pictures of tits and ass which makes them nothing more than a marketing person.

Besides, from what I’ve seen, there are really very few bitches out there I’d want to pimp for.  I’m no fucking virgin, I’ve paid for pussy before and I’m sure I’ll pay for pussy again if I ever see any worth paying for.

One of the nice things about growing older is your much more patient and picky about what you stick your dick into, at least I am, and I can honestly say that the hookers I have stuck my cock in only one of them would I ever do again and she’s in Spain so the odds of me doing her again are pretty slim.

I remember one time I was stuck in a Courtyard out in the fucking middle of almost nowhere.  Not a fucking bar within walking distance and there were no cabs in the town and I won’t drink and drive.  One DUI taught me my lesson.  Any fucking way, I was horny as a mother fucker and no pussy in site.  So I called an escort service.

The dispatcher asked if I had any preferences.  I told her my only one was I wanted a chick with big boobs..  Big mistake as the chick they sent over must have been 5 foot tall and weighed 150 pounds.  She had big tits, that’s for sure but she had a fucking ass that was so fucking wide that she had to wear a fucking sign across it “WIDE LOAD” just like the trucks on the freeway.

Now there is no way in hell this slut is going to be able to get my dick hard.  WTF am I to do?  I’m hornier than a fucking jack rabbit and the only thing I’ve got to fuck is so fucking big I’d have to tie a board around my ass so that I didn’t fall in the god damn hole..

I ended up giving the slut $300.00 to let me sit on her face and jack off while she sucked on my balls.  Only thing I could think of.  Getting your balls sucked and licked always feels good and I didn’t have to look at her, I could fantasize that there was actually a cute chick sucking my balls and licking the crack of my ass and I did pull my balls out of her mouth so that I could cover her big fat titties with a big helping of my man milk but even that was somehow unsatisfying. 

Shit, reading that I guess I have been a fucking pimp cause I have had a couple girlfriends who did just that.  Worked at the strip clubs doing lap dances and a few select hand jobs and coming home, handing me all their fucking money and sucking on my cock till I was ready to fuck their brains out.  BUT… I never had a stable.  I never had multiple bitches doing that.

Now for a confession,,, I wrote this a month ago and am just now getting around to posting it.

Today’s babe of the post is a hot chick I saw while visiting MC Nudes. Her name Veronica DaSouza and I’m just totally in lust dreaming about having those full, puffy lips wrapped around my cock. The rest of her isn’t bad either. Enjoy

Dude, you been reading my shit for awhile now. How about leaving a fucking comment and letting me fucking know how you feel about the shit I write or possibly Share Chasing The Walrus with Twitter

Tags: Porn Shit, Ramblings, Sex and The Walrus by
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I debated long and fucking hard deciding if I was going to join in the Tiger bandwagon and ultimately I pretty much decided that a voice of reason needed to be fucking added to this circus as there seems to not be any. I’m fucking tired of every fucking news service in the world, and even the sports news services, having turned into nothing more than gossip rags. Shit, isn’t there enough news in the world for them to focus on. I mean here in the good ole US of A the government is getting ready to turn health care on its head, we have record debt and a president who believes he needs to fucking spend his way out of the recession and for some reason we need to spend time on every fucking show talking about a golfer.

Shit even Fox News can’t have a program on where Tiger is not one of the topics. Who fucking cares, the guy is human and rich. What that means if he can get any piece of pussy in the world he wants, period. Ya, he cheated on his wife. Millions of men cheat on their wives every fucking day. Most get caught at some point or another and there is a very ugly, very emotional time once they are caught. It’s life. What makes the fact that Tiger did it news worthy? Because he’s the best at what he does? Many CEO’s of companies cheat with pornstarts, strippers and the likes. Because he does commercials? Come on, do you really believe any of these fuckers who hawk products on TV actually even believe in them. Tiger drives a Cadillac. What would he be driving if he was pushing hummers? Does his opinion matter any more than anyone elses because he is the best golfer in the world today? I don’t think so.

We’ve become a country more obsessed with who is fucking whom rather than what is actually going on in the world that affects our daily life and will affect the daily lives of our children. Eventually, this whole Tiger Woods thing will be fucking forgotten, like in the next month, and he will resume playing golf. The deficiets our government is running up will last years and our children will probably be paying that debt off for a very long time. Health care is being affected. Talk about long term effects and guess what, nobody is really fucking talking about it. They’d rather worry about who some fucking golfer was sticking their cock into.

For those that are curious, I’ll peak your interest here with a couple videos. The first is from Naughty America Live where Holly Sampson talks about Tiger Woods.

Now to climb on my soap box a little and torture you all with a little bit of fucking Walrus wisdom, as if the shit I’ve already written isn’t fucking worth its weight in fucking gold.

Cheating is fucking normal. I dont give a fuck who you are. The reason it’s normal, at least from the Walrus’s perspective, is two fold. The secondary reason is it is just fucking boring fucking the same person. Besides if you’ve been married for over a year or so there isn’t that much fucking going on. When I was married I could usually count on getting some pussy on New Years day, Valentines day, my birthday and Xmas eve. A few little pieces would be thrown in now and then but if I was getting it more than 6 times a year I’ve fucking be surprised and that simply is not enough pussy for a growing boy.

But fuck, when you’ve got work, two kids and a wife that works your week days are filled with doing the 9-5 thing and the weekends filled with doing kids shit. Eventually your simply going to look for a little strange to break the monotony. Once you experience that excitement, it’s fucking hard to fall back into a fucking daily routine. Which is why you always fucking get caught.

Second, and for me the most important, is that you simply like treating sluts like sluts. Where as you love you wife and really don’t want to be be your cock hungry slut. I mean I love grabbing the back of a chicks head and shoving my cock down her throat. But not with the princess I love. I like bending her over and fucking the shit out of a sluts tight asshole and then making her clean the cum and shit off my cock when I’m finished. But not to my princess. I like all the BDSM shit and sharing a slut with my buddy. But not the one I love. I think you get the drift. It’s impossible to do all the things you love to do, the things you crave to do with the person you love.

But women dont get hung up on that. Sex can be just that pure animalistic release of ones needs. No emotions attached. Where when I’m with the woman I love, it is no longer sex it is making love. Tender, loving, caring putting your needs and wants before my own. With a slut, fuck her needs she’s a fucking slut, I’m out for what I want, for what my cock is craving and she is nothing more than the fucking vessel for accomplishing what I need.

The interesting thing about pornstars / strippers are they have this fantastic talent to make you feel like your really fucking special. They use this talent to milk every last penny from your wallet and you fall for it. Once your a mark, your always a mark. Even if you are "one of the lucky ones’ who get to fuck them. The lucky ones, those with the largest amount of cash consistently. Not just at the strip club. Ones they can count on for cash anytime they need it. Ones that become "obsessors". Unfortunately, Tiger never learned about those and perhaps that is what makes him the most just like most of you fuckers. He got sucked into believing that what he was experiencing was real, not fantasy. When you learn that your completely wrong about this kind of shit it is totally devastating. But let me assure each and every one of you guys, these chicks don’t care to bits about you. They care about your wallet and you know what… most of them are bringing every fucking penny they take from you home to a guy like me and I thank you for all the cash you’ve donated to my favorite charity, me, over the years. I didn’t get any of Tigers money since I’ve moved on from running strippers / pornstars but I can assure you that some of you reading this have.

With all this fucking porn going on, I almost fucking forgot about the babe of the post. Maybe it was the fact that I’d already seen massive hooters and chicks with soft body curves but I selected a pic from one of my favorite Italian slut teen. She’s got a hot tight little body and the face of an angel. I pretty much never tire of looking at her playful ass and I personally believe if you give it a shot, you won’t either. So without another word being typed from my finger tips, I bring you Ivy Black.

Dude, you been reading my shit for awhile now. How about leaving a fucking comment and letting me fucking know how you feel about the shit I write or possibly Share Chasing The Walrus with Twitter

Tags: Political Commentary, Porn Shit by
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