The Pussy Hammer
A few posts ago… ok fuck it… almost two fucking months ago I posted a link to a fucking story about some dumb bitch taking a power saw and trying to turn it into a dildo. The only fucking problem the dumb ass and her boyfriend who was obviously just as stupid didn’t think about what the blade might do to human tissue and when the dildo that was attached to the blade slipped, well lets just say the dumb bitch now has the sloppiest pussy in town.
Don’t get me wrong, I do get into some of the "fucking machine" porn that floats around the internet. Shit like this is pretty cool
But like all the fucking shows that hand some dangerous shit going on in them, this is not the type of stuff one should try at home. These are professionals who have designed machines that are awesome and powerful but also safety has been considered as well.
Not everyone gets that and in Arndale Ok, another chick decided she had a brilliant idea for a new sex machine even more powerful than described above. Seems this slut was recently divorced which, by some odd bit of reasoning, seems to have increased her fucking sex drive. According to a neighbor
A neighbor who declined to be identified said, “She was a horny lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time.”
Now either
this slut moans really fucking loud or these people were fucking perverts and listening really fucking close. In fact, the police had questioned her three time about running an illegal prostitution ring from her house. Oh she was also into sex toys and was selling them. WTF either of these things has to do with my fucking story, I have no fucking idea.
Back to the original premise of the issue. It seems this bitch tried to use a jack hammer as a dildo. But the circumstances are even more bizarre than just a woman and a jack hammer. It seems she was standing in her driveway naked while attempting such a sexual manuvere. One of the neighbors happened to notice her in the driveway with the jack hammer but didn’t bother to call the police until she heard unnatural screams coming from her.
Now I’m all for live and let live but if these fucking neighbors were nosey enough to hear her moaning and to have called the fucking cops on three occasions in a month about an illegal prostitution ring, it does seem a bit fucking strange to me that they would wait, while she was standing in the driveway, naked with a jack hammer to wait for her to be screaming before actually calling the local authorities. Ok, I’m being nice there,,, the fucking cops.
Can You turn this into a dildo
The other fucking thing that really makes one wonder is that initially the cops suspected foul play. A bitch has a jack hammer stuck up her twat, in the middle of her fucking driveway and you suspect foul play. I still haven’t gotten my fucking head around how the chick could operate the jack hammer, upside down, to get it hammering away. Below is a pic of a jack hammer. Not sure how the thing is fucking turned on but if you’ve got the jack part stuck up your coochie, how the fuck do you operate the fucking hammer part with your feet. Especially while standing up. Besides, I would think that it would work perfectly fine with out sticking the dangerous part in your twat. Much like a washing machine… ladies I know you know what I’m talking about but if you need a hint, think spin cycle.
Anyway, the whole fucking story makes absolutely no sense at all. Whether it was accidental or not. There has to be more than being published but you can read the shortened version here
Today’s babe of the post is a hot fucking blonde babe in the midst of unzipping her pants. This comes by way of The Blog Erotica, a post titled Blonde Desires
Hot Blonde Big Tits
Dude, you been reading my shit for awhile now. How about leaving a fucking comment and letting me fucking know how you feel about the shit I write or possibly Share Chasing The Walrus with Twitter
Your suspicions are valid, Walrus. This story is fake.
First of all, the webpage states that the incident took place in Arndale, Alpara County, Oklahoma. There is no such town as Arndale in Oklahoma. There isn’t an Alpara County in the state either.
The logistics of the story are kind of off. Jackhammers are 2-3 feet long with most requiring two hands in order for operation. So in order to use the jackhammer for auto-eroticism, “Ms. Dent” would have hold both handles at one end of the machine and insert the other end into her vagina, which is only possible if the woman was a contortionist.
Also, jackhammers are extremely heavy, with some weighing upwards of 71 lbs. Given the position “Ms. Dent” would have to be in order to use a jackhammer as a dildo, it is unlikely that she would have had enough upper body strength to do such a thing.
Jackhammers are also extremely loud. So loud that the neighbors would not be able to hear any part of “Ms. Dent’s” voice over the noise that the jackhammer’s operation produces. Unless she lived in an apartment building, it is unlikely that any of her neighbors could have heard any moans coming from her house even without a construction tool’s noise in the background.
“Ms. Dent” was said to have owned a sex toy distribution company. If she was at all knowledgeable about her industry, she would have known that she sells toys designed for (theoretically) a woman’s body, meaning she could just have bought a vibrator from her own company.
Finally, a quick web search has found no legitimate news reports on this story. Only postings on message boards and blogs.