Chasing the Walrus

I’ve been traveling through Union Station here in LA for around 10 years. During that whole time, there has been a Traxx restaurant. That could change tomorrow.

It seems that according to LA health code a restaurant that serves liquor, the restroom must have a urinal. No a simple toilet isn’t good enough, it’s got to be a urinal. I don’t know how long that’s been a part of the code but like I already said, this place has been in business for years.

Yes, they do have a "unisex" restroom. It’s got a sink, a nice toilet with your basic toilet seat (one of the very few in all of Union Station that I would actually consider sitting my ass on) and a mirror. Honestly, if it weren’t for the bathtub, their bathroom would be larger than the one in my house.

But it doesn’t have a urinal.

I understand were talking about guys pissing and as long as it’s not splashing on our shoes it’s close enough but having a urinal doesn’t change that. The best way to keep men behaving is to have a unisex bathroom. At least for me, I see it as I don’t want to prove what a pig I am since the next person to use the room could be my current girlfriend or my future girlfriend. The thought that it could be the future keeps me straighter than the present since the present already knows what a pig I am. She’s already learned I have no idea that you can lift that seat up and a few little drops on the floor doesn’t mean shit. She probably hasn’t witnessed the "hose it down" effect as that’s usually reserved for a large group of "buds" and an over populated room.

So, a restaurant, which serves alcohol,with no urinal is bad but, and someone please explain this one to me, a bar, which serves food, with no restroom is cool. What’s worse is the closest place to piss is at the restaurant, about 200 feet away.

While I don’t know whats going to happen tomorrow here’s what I figure.
a tight as health inspector is going to recommend to his boss the restaurant be closed
his boss, being a stupid civil servant will agree
they will serve papers
the restaurant, which serves all the city officials and hosts many of their parties, will contact the right people
the health department idiots will get bitch slapped
the closure order will be resinded
a health inspector, who probably got the job because his mother fucked somebody who knows somebody, will find himself unemployed
the moral of the story will be, I still have my favorite bar to stop and have a drink at on the way home - don’t fuck with The Walrus’s beer

Now for a babe. This chick thinks she wants to be a mens advice columnist. Personally, I think she’s better off doing naked picture for the Women of Playboy or she’s really looking to laugh at all the pathetic male pussies there are in the world. Which makes the advice simple… GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS.

But, I detract for the sexy, the beautiful, the (god I’m full of shit) babe of the post Monica for the Women of Playboy

Monica wants to be a mens advice columnist

Monica Chairez
Henderson, NV
SPECS:
OCCUPATION:Model
HAIR COLOR:Brown
HEIGHT: 5ft 9in
WEIGHT:124
BREASTS: 34C
MEASUREMENTS: 34C-26-34
Women of Playboy

Monica wants to be a mens advice columnist. She enjoys Bikram yoga, running and working out. Monicas sports activities include surfing, wake boarding and skim boarding. To learn more about Monica check out her interview video. Learn more about Monica at Women of Playboy

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Well the political correctness police are out in force once again and it may come as no surprise that it’s being led by the Rev. Al Sharpton. I gotta tell you these people take it to the extreme. I’ve read some articles with the word assasination in it but most all feel the cartoon is comparing President Obama to a chimpanzee. For those of you whities that may have forgotten, many many years ago, when we were truly racist, blacks were compared to chimps, you know the Africa connection and all. What I don’t think all the PC police get is that it’s been forgotten. Thrown into the wasteland and that someone could think of putting the cartoon together for a major news paper, as a parady on current affairs shows just how far some of us have gone. On the otherhand, it also shows how Rev. Al and many of his supporters love to play the "poor me" card.

To Rev. Al this is

“troubling at best given the historic racist attacks of African-Americans as being synonymous with monkeys.”

where as the NY Post sees it as

The cartoon is a clear parody of a current news event, to wit the shooting of a violent chimpanzee in Connecticut. It broadly mocks Washington’s efforts to revive the economy. Again, Al Sharpton reveals himself as nothing more than a publicity opportunist.”

According to Sam Stein of the Huffington Post says

At its most benign, the cartoon suggests that the stimulus bill was so bad, monkeys may as well have written it. Others believe it compares the president to a rabid chimp. Either way, the incorporation of violence and (on a darker level) race into politics is bound to be controversial.

So what does The Walrus say… Get a fucking life you fucking losers. If you really actually read shit, looked into things and didn’t fucking jump to conclusions you’d fucking realize that cartoonist Sean Delonas has been beating up the fucking stimulus package all month with his cartoons. Like this one, poking a little fun at the lady and her sixteenuplets or what ever the fuck they were. It was dawn on the 5th.

Or this one, something about an odor from New Jersey drawn on the 8th

Or this timely news one dealing with steroid in basball and the stimulus bill

And finally, today’s masterpiece… Ok, I’m pissed about this one making fun of one legged men and ass kicking contests. Now that has gone too far.

So now that you’ve seen more of his recent work, do you still find his monkey cartoon offensive or can you follow the fucking trend… news of the day plus stimulus package equal not good. Seriously, all you fucking knee jerk reactionaries need to get a fucking life. Not everyone is out to get you. Not everyone wants to speak derogatory about you. Get your fucking facts straight before jumping to conclusions. Otherwise, in reality you just look fucking stupid.

BTW I love the cartoons. If you want to see more of them check out Delonas’s page on the NY Post website

Today’s babe is coming from a frequent source Nudes Artistically Done and this post called Liala is Essentially Yours

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Tags: Political Commentary by Walrus
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Ok, I don’t keep up with the tabloid crap much and really don’t follow the modeling shit, that is unless they are getting naked so it came to no fucking surprise to me that I had never fucking heard of Bar Refaeli before I found this video described as "The Hottest Video in the History of History. It just happened to be her fucking SI video and she is the cover girl on this years swimsuit edition.

Watch the Hottest Video of All Time

Now I’m not disagree-ing and saying she’s not HOT, I’m just wondering when the fuck Sports Illustrated became a softcore porn site. They’ve been doing the swimsuit shit for a long time but damn.

Mixed in with the sports you know have shit like photo’s and video’s of the swimsuit edition, Danica Patrick in a bikini doing a sexy fucking set on a sports car (she too is fucking hot but fuck wouldn’t her time be spent better behind the wheel of the race car she drives rather than rolling around on a car with a bikini on) and body painting.

The whole time I was typing all of that, the banner at the top of the screen was cycling through a couple really hot fucking video’s so it took me a bit longer to type (and a lot more typo’s) than normal.

If thats not enough, how about a pictorial on swimsuits best rookie (Esti Ginzburg) and the cheerleader of the week, Minnesota’s Kelly Gerleve. Of course the sexiest thing she wore was her little cheerleading outfit so I guess it’s cool. It’s not like she was pulling down her panties or anything.

But seriously, why has sports illustrated decided it needed to go softcore porn and sorry, it is fucking softcore porn they are doing.

I don’t know, fuck, it probably isn’t even something worth having posted about. It just pisses me off that I show tits (and once in a great while a little cooch) and I’m a fucking bad man, a pervert, a sinner but a respected enerprise like SI does this shit and nobody says a fucking word. Oh well, how about a babe for the post and lets stay with sexy Bar Refaeli as this pic is totally fucking softcore porn.

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When this fucking picture was shot, I’d bet this helicopter pilot thought he was the luckiest dude alive. After the blow job he got a few minutes later, I’m sure he know he was the fucking luckiest guy alive. But then the shit hit the fan (2 years later)! Somehow (could it be a pornstar looking for a little publicity, na, that wouldn’t happen) the events that transpired in that chopper made it to the news and TMZ decided to really pick it up and run with it.

It started out with the article Chopper Flasher is Hardcore which has a number of Puma pics and a couple with the pilot as seen above which was covered in one of their Celebrity Justice pieces. Don’t worry dudes and dudettes, I’ll get to some much better pictures of Puma but I will warn you, the pics with the pilot seem to be very limited.

The next day, TMZ releases the above photo with the headline "FAA Launches Pilot Investigation After TMZ Story". What’s particularly interesting is that these happened in 2007. According to TMZ, the FAA did nothing because they couldn’t tell whether the plane was in the air or not. Strange, I can, can you? Personally that has my bull shit meter pegged as the FAA seems to investigate shit not just look at the picture and say who gives a fuck.

Personally, I go back to one of my earlier theories.

If you read that article, it will come as no surprise that this pilot has been in trouble a few times, and not just for getting blow jobs from pornstars. I like the guy.

But TMZ isn’t ready to let up on this baby, ohhh no, nothing gets the media hotter than the likes of a pornstar and a blow job! Oh wait, I fucking up the time line, at this point in time, no one knew about anything but a little tit licking.

Somewhere along that same day, they were able to locate Puma Swede and found out that it wasn’t just the pilot doing some titty sucking. They posted that video, I scrapped it and now you can see it here without me even giving you a link. My text is a whole lot more interesting than theirs anywayl. See they were shocked and well, I’m envious and currently looking into ways I can generate payment by BJ from a pornstar.

Watch Puma Swede Interview

But the fun doesn’t stop there, oh no boys and girls, what would a good porn story be without the video. Unfortunately, TMZ wanting to be much more mainstream than some (like The Walrus) got the video that was shot that day in the chopper and fucked it up. They fucking sensored it and even cut out the actual oral sex. According to them, the blowjob only lasted 50 seconds anyway so it wasn’t a world class BJ. Or perhaps it was a world class blow job and that explains why it only lasted so long.

I would say you be the judge but they fucking cut it out so you’ve got nothing to judge. I mean was it a hot blonde pornstar with excellent sucking capabilities meets Joe Schmo or is it simply a case of premature ejaculation.

Almost Watch Puma Swede Suck Pilots Cock

So that’s how far the story has progressed. A pilot in trouble because a porn chick gave him a BJ as payment for letting her use his chopper as the back drop for a porn shot. His mistake wasn’t then giving Puma Swede a ride, it was letting her take her camera man along for the ride. Cause you know as soon as some tape dude finds it, it’s headed for the internet and a great piece of free PR for a pornstar and her website Of course, today’s babe of the post might as well be the babe in the post Puma Swede. Oh, and yes that is the famous helicopter.

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Tags: Geek Shit, Legal Commentary, Porn Shit, Uncategorized by Walrus
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Can if fucking be, I’m changing? The DOJ, under President Obama, is refocusing it’s resources on things that can actually help people rather than parading around like gestapo worried about a little porn and screaming that child porn is a issue.

Yes, child porn needs to be fucking eradicated and anyone actually making it, or even molesting a child, needs to be punished in the most fucking barbaric means possible. Personally, I’d fucking nail their balls to a createne soaked log, hand them a butter knife and light the fucking log on fire. Their choice, roasted nuts or to fucking chop them off themselves.

But when your doing nothing more than jacking up the fear in order to obtain your real goal, the eradication of the porn industry, then your nothing but a fear monger or simply one very fucking big idiot. All that has been fucking discussed over the last 8 years was nothing more than fear mongering.

Case in point, Fidelis, a group which claims it’s all about well… see below I’ll use their own words:

Fidelis (Latin for faithful) is the universal name for a group of Catholic-based political, legal, research and educational organizations whose collective mission it is to formulate, promote, and defend public policies that uphold religious freedom, human life from conception to natural death, and the traditional institutions of marriage and family.

Now thats all fine and even good and admirable but why do they seem to feel to need to try to shape and control my life in a form that they want.

Isn’t freedom all about all of us being able to determine what is right and wrong for us and not having others push their beliefs down our throat? But when a group such as this is willing to spread outright lies about someone then that is exactly what they are trying to do.

According to the press release Obama Picks Porn Lawyer for #2 at Justice. Again let me stop myself and let you read their own words

“Ogden’s record is nothing short of obscene. He has represented Playboy Enterprises in multiple cases, Penthouse Magazine, the ACLU, and the largest distributor of hard-core pornography videos. He has opposed filters on library computers protecting children from Internet smut, and successfully defended the right of pornographers to produce material with underage children.”

So yes it’s true, he has made first amendment agruments for Playboy, Penthouse and others in the Porn industry. What people like this don’t fucking understand is that sometimes, in order to maintain freedom, you have to fight for things that you PERSONALLY find distastefull. But, you see, people like this aren’t really interested in your freedom. That is unless you think exactly like they do. They believe that freedom is only something for them and those like them. If your not like them, then your freedom doesn’t matter.

But that’s not the lie. The lie is "successfully defended the right of pornographers to produce material with underage children". The law they are referring to was known as COPA (Child Online Protection Act) which tries to limit childrens access to on-line adult porn. It had very little to do with child porn other than trying to add record keeping beyond usefullness and criminalize people simply because they sold the porn others made.

One of the oddities of that portion of the law was, it really didn’t have to be porn. Anything that depicted a sexual act was covered. Well almost, it seemed that if Hollywood made a movie with simulated sex, it was exempt. Confused yet?

Other than that small portion of COPA, known as 2257, the rest of the law was censoring the internet. Luckily, even a conservative US Supreme Court realized how fucking crazy this all was and came to the most logical conclusion:

The court also said that parental use of Internet filters was a better, less restrictive way to protect children from explicit material.

So just like the V-Chip and television, IE as well as every other internet browser has adult filters built into them.

The Babe of the Post is going to come from one of my favorite babe blogs Nudes Artistically Done. The post is called My China Doll
and I really do find this petite babe to be extremely desireable and an excellent piece of eye candy. Enjoy

Dude, you been reading my shit for awhile now. How about leaving a fucking comment and letting me fucking know how you feel about the shit I write or possibly Share Chasing The Walrus with Twitter

Tags: Political Commentary by Walrus
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